Gilda and Lies
by Kyletra
Summary: After the events of Griffin the Brush Off, Gilda seeks to regain the ponies' favor, especially that of the World's Best Flier.
1. Gilda and Lies

Speed. Acceleration. Momentum. Distance. Speed, acceleration, momentum, distance...

The words melted together into a buzz, spurring the griffin further from Ponyville. She couldn't stand to be in such an uncool place any longer. It's bright, gaudy colors hurt her eyes so much they teared up. Yeah, that's why she can't look back at the little town as she rests up above in the clouds. As IF Gilda, the Queen of Cool, would cry about some loser pony not wanting to hang out. Why, the very idea was laughable. In fact, a laugh is sounding pretty good right now. That'd help the pain of losing her... the pain from the colors, yeah.

Looking down, she saw a male unicorn with a green mane. He had a quill and inkwell cutie mark, and was sitting under a tree dozing. If she landed on it just right, a dead limb would fall and impale itself on his horn. Which she did, the blow waking the sleeping male.

She chuckled, until she noticed him staring up at her intently, the branch still stabbed upon the horn like a termite's shish kabob.

"What? Not my fault you chose a bad place for a nap."

"You've been crying."

The griffin was thrown by the remark, but retorted instantly.

"I was breaking airspeed records, of course I'd get teary eyed. Anyone would, looking on all this awesome."

With a bit of magic and a twist, his horn was freed of the limb. A look of bored disbelief was clear, as he held the stick at head height.

"Alright, if you're so fast, prove it. Catch this stick before it hits the ground."

In the state she was in, Gilda was not in the mood to have some PONY doubt her skills. She dived and caught the stick just as it was about to hit the grass. She grinned smugly and waved the wood in front of his face.

"See? There's nothing any lame-o pony can come up with that I can't do."

The male unicorn gave an indifferent shrug.

"Nothing? How about this for a challenge. I've been looking for a certain flower. Solid orange petals with blue stamen. Searched all day, haven't seen a single one. Surely a cool and swift griffin can find one before the sun sets? They're in the forest, near the base of the trees, so it may take you quite a while to find them."

Gilda looked up, the sun barely past noon. She was going to prove to this uncool unicorn she was better than any pony.

"Alright, I'll be back before dusk with a whole bouquet! You just stay right here, and be ready to eat some humble pie."

With that, she took off, flying low and maneuvering majestically between the tightly clustered trees. Despite how cramped it was, she still was gaining speed. She ripped through some sort of Wilderness Rave, where a party of ponies were dancing to techno mixed with the song of nature.

'With some lame-o white unicorn bobbing her head like a moron...' She thought to herself. 'Rock is SO much cooler, it isn't even funny.'

Gilda scanned the ground, her literal eagle eyes spotting a flash of orange. Screeching to a halt, she picked the flower. She gave a confident laugh at how easy it was, until she looked it over. Orange petals with... yellow stamen. This was the wrong flower. Clicking her beak in annoyance, she looked up to the sun. Oh tail feathers, it was already getting dark!

Gilda half flew, half sprinted, scrambling over the forest floor to try and find it. This flower had blue stamen, but pink petals. This one was orange petals, but they were banded with white. She'd picked enough flowers to decorate a parade float, and not a single one matched. The stars twinkled above before she finally admitted defeat.

The unicorn was sitting there, writing on a small scroll. He looked up as she walked over to him. He took out a canteen and offered it to her. She growled with frustration, but she still drank deeply. It was just water, but after the humid oven that was the forest, it was like a refreshing spring rain just for her dried throat. Once she finished, the unicorn gave a polite cough.

"I'm surprised it took you this long."

Gilda snorted at the jab.

"Yeah, well it was impossible to find anything in that mess of a forest."

At that, the unicorn's lips gave a slight twitch, as if suppressing the urge to laugh.

"Oh, it's not impossible to find anything in there. Merely impossible to find a flower I made up."

Gilda stared in utter disbelief, realizing she had spent the entire afternoon on a worthless endeavor. She shook with fury, and then roared with enough force to ripple the leaves in the tree.

"You... you... you lame excuse for a pony! There's no such thing as a flower with orange petals and blue stamen? You lied to me? You made me waste valuable time on a wild goose chase? I ought to drop the whole tree on you for the stunt you pulled!"

The unicorn nodded, and waited for her to stop yelling.

"Now you know how it feels to be lied to."

Gilda shot him a glare, eye twitching uncontrollably.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"You lied when we met, you denied you were crying. You seemed to believe it yourself too, and that hurts most, when people lie to themselves."

The griffin could only sputter indignantly, too enraged to reply properly. The unicorn took this chance to speak more.

"Now, I may not fly fast, or move gracefully, but I listen very well. Tell me what's wrong. I'd like to help."

This sent Gilda into a new rage, causing her to screech and beat her wings. This pony was as bad as the little pink tart that took _her_ away!

"I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU PONIES! You talk like to want to help, like you love and tolerate everyone, but in reality, you just like to one up others! And when someone else tries to show you love, to have you to themselves, to show you how much you mean to them, you act like there's nothing wrong!"

The griffin broke down, sobbing, shame burning from losing her dignity in front of a stranger, and a pony at that. Hot tears streaked down her mulch and pollen coated face. She rubbed at her eyes, only smearing it further. For the second time in one day, she'd let some loser get the better of her. She almost didn't notice when he put a moist cloth in her claws. As she wiped her face, he continued on.

"Say no more. It's ok to cry, and to feel sorrow when love is rejected. If you truly love someone, you want to share them, not keep them all to yourself like some trinket. Go back, apologize, and know that they do love you, they just want you to know you can't love just them alone."

Gilda sniffed, and tried to regain her composure.

"Heh, you know what. You're right. Why should I worry about anything? At the end of the day, I'm the coolest flier in the sky, why should I think anyone else is going to take my place in her… er, their heart? You know what, you're kinda cool yourself, for a lame-o. What's your name?"

"Words, Words O'Wisdom, but my friends call me Wiz."

"Alright Wiz, thank you, for everything."

With that, she took off, back towards Ponyville, flying even faster than she had before. Words O'Wisdom gathered his saddlebags, and watched her leave, just as Vinyl Scratch emerged from the brush, twigs stuck in her hair and goggles tangled in her tail.

"Some kind of brown wind just tore up the party!"


	2. Speedy Love

Gilda woke up knowing only three things. One, her beak hurt too much to even open for a moan of pain, allowing only a whimper. Two, she was floating on her back in a pool of rainbow, Rainbow Dash's rainbow pool to be exact. And this brings us to Three, Dash had not been happy to see her. She'd flown like the North Wind, hard and fast back to Ponyville. Wiz's words had been just the boost she needed to face the trials of regaining the pegasus' favor.

It had been quite late by the time she knocked on the front door of the cloud home. Dash had obviously been asleep, and was grumpy to be stirred from slumber. Upon seeing the griffin, sheepishly grinning at the front door, her mood flared into outright fury, and the cyan flier simply turned around and bucked her right on the beak. _I deserved that I guess. _And then, blackness had enveloped her mind, while rainbow juice soaked her body.

Climbing out of the liquid light, Gilda resisted the urge for a cat bath and preening. Dash had shown her years ago how spicy rainbow was, and it was far worse than that hot sauce prank had been. Instead, she flew to a decently thick cloud and dived in, letting the water vapor bead away the brilliant goo. Landing on the top of the cloud, she glanced around, and sure of the privacy, finished cleaning up. It was not cool to be seen bending over backwards to try and lick the small of your back, or running your beak over your feathers to waterproof them. The price you pay for being 50% lion, 50% eagle, and 100% awesome.

Satisfied she was clean at last, Gilda decided to appeal to Dash's stomach first. She flew down to the bakery and tensed. She didn't see any of the town's ponies, but it made her a nervous wreck to even think of being seen. Not even ponies can forgive the way she'd treated them THAT quickly. She hoped that she could get help, and by her mother's jagged eggshell, there was only one pony she thought would be willing to even hear her out: **HER.**

Entering the shop, Gilda thanked the heavens for her good fortune. The store was empty, and a familiar voice called from the kitchen.

"Silly, we're not open yet! But you just sit and wait, and I'll see what I can bake yah!"

Gilda walked past the counter, and into the backroom. Behind a pile of flour, sugar, butter, candy, soda, sugar, chips, chocolate, fresh berries, sugar, and a teaspoon of vanilla, was the one she sought. _The __pink ta-__ pink pony! Pinkie Pie._

Pinkie came from behind, chomping into a fresh baked cookie. She eyed the griffin with uncertain appraisal. Gilda gulped, smiling disarmingly, even though it made her face scream in pain. Not from the ache of the kick, but from having to resort to this. Pinkie swallowed and poked the griffin's wings suspiciously.

"What are you doing back here in, what did you call it, Lame-o-ville? You said it wasn't cool here, but in the winter it gets outright chilly after all. Hot in the summer though and-"

Gilda put a claw over Pinkie's mouth and shushed her. The last thing Gilda wanted was any other pony to know she was here, and this one's blabbing was going to spread it like a wildfire.

"Listen uh... Pinko, I need you to be quiet and just listen to me for a minute. I need to tell you some things I don't want anyone else finding out, got it?"

Pinkie nodded, breaking away.

"Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye."

_ What was that birdlime? No, don't get sucked in. By the way she's looking at me, I guess she's willing to keep a secret._

"Ok. Well, you know I hung around with Dash a lot right? Well, thing is, Dash wasn't the only pony I hung out with. Dash was the only living thing I hung out with. When we first went to flight camp together, I was actually very weak. The only reason I even got into the camp was my parents have some major chickenfeed, and bought my way in. They wanted me to get tough or die trying. Throwing the cub off the cliff, and waiting for it to climb back up."

Pinkie remained silent, outside of a quivering lip and whimpers of sympathy as Gilda continued.

"I was just trying to hide in the back of the crowd, which was hard when you're the only griffin in a camp of ponies. They wouldn't go near me, so I was stuck being alone. Then _she_ walked up. She just took one look at me and said 'You're... you're... SO AWESOME!' and made this... adorable face. She'd never seen a griffin, and everything about me was cool. My claws, my beak, the tail, everything. I'd been so used to being treated like a sickly chick, that for someone to actually tell me I was cool? I was floating on air!"

Pinkie nodded sagely at this comment.

"Well duh! Of course you were floating on air! You were at flight camp, and that's all the way in the clouds!"

Gilda gave a frustrated sigh, but pressed on. _I swear if she says one more inane comment, I'm going to throttle her..._

"Well, Dash was the best flier by far, and it was so cool to see her move so effortlessly. Even as a filly, she was something, wind whipping her mane back, face full of the joy of speed. She was cute back then, but now to watch her soaring around, doing a job she loves and is great at? Now it's just a glory to behold..."

Gilda found herself blushing, and coughed to cover this vulnerable and uncool sight.

"But anyway, I didn't want her to stop thinking I was cool. So I worked, hard. When the ponies were busy making snowflakes in arts and crafts, I was running drills doing Loops, dives, and turns. I could do a barrel roll in my sleep. By the end of that summer, I'd worked my feathers off trying to keep up, to stay in her spotlight. The fact we were the best fliers in the camp was secondary to me. I just wanted her to keep thinking I was cool."

Pinkie had pulled out a tub of popcorn, munching loudly as the griffin weighed her options. _Kill her and just take a pie from the shelf, or get her to actually help. I'm going to regret it later, but she lives… for now._

"Well, now you know why I was so...selfish about her. I don't want her looking at someone else, to leave me alone and in the dark again. That won't happen!"

Gilda slammed clenched claws on the tabletop, flour and eggs getting all over her, not that she noticed.

"But now because of you… no... sorry, because of me being jealous, she refuses to talk to me. I went to make up, and she knocked me out stone cold. I messed up big time, and I, and this pains me to admit you know, need your help getting her to like me again. If you don't hate me for the way I've treated you. I'm... sorry. I'm so sorry I, heh, lost my cool."

Pinkie didn't speak, just watching Gilda let what she'd said soak in. The griffin had remained calm during her speech, but in the silence, she became aware she'd started crying again, her breathing slightly ragged. She went to wipe her eyes, but the gunk on her would have only made things worse. So she stood there, awaiting judgment like a hatchling caught emptying the cookie jar.

Pinkie stepped over and hugged her, sobbing two fountains of tears that washed over the bewildered griffin.

"I don't hate you! I thought you were a Meany McMeanpants, but you were just a lonely lovebird!"

Gilda choked on air, and shoved the pony away.

"What, me, love Dash? No, no no no no no. We're friends. I just don't want to lose the position of BEST friend, you know? Besides, she thinks of me as an older sister. She wouldn't want to be with me… after everything, I'd be lucky to stay in heart as a friend anyway. "

Pinkie laughed, but dropped it. Turning to the pile of ingredients, she looked for something special.

"I know just the thing to help you steal back the spotlight. Dash has an ego bigger than um... a really really big thing. No, make that TWO really big things! If we make a seven layer cake, each layer a color of the rainbow, frost it the same colors, and put 'To the Pony who Makes EVERYTHING 20% Cooler!' on top, she'll at least let you talk long enough to say a quick apology!"

Gilda shook her head, making a signal to stop.

"No, trust me, Dash isn't much of a health nut but something that big would just get thrown out. Now, if it was a cake made with seven different color batters, to make a sorta tie-dye effect.."

Pinkie's grin split her face in two.

"That is BRILLIANT! I've wanted to try something like that anyway, but the Cakes said it was a bit complex. Come on, it's time to get baking! All you gotta do is take a cup of flour~"

An hour of baking, decorating, singing _BADLY__,_and treating minor burns, the cake was finished. Gilda grabbed the wrapped package and was about to take off when Pinkie gave her a last hug.

"Go get her Tiger!"

"I'm part Lion Pinkie."

Gilda laughed when Pinkie opened her mouth to comment on the sarcasm, the two sharing a true chuckle as she soared upwards. Dash was still home, and still not happy to see her when she answered the door.

"Gilda, you have some nerve! After the way you blamed my friends, and left! You just left! I don't know what the Griffin meaning of the word is, but around here Loyalty means sticking with your friends. And you just ran away, like a coward! Why should I even bother continuing to even yell at you? Give me one solid reason I shouldn't buck you right back to ground level!"

The box was opened, and the bandages covering blisters were plain to see on her talons. The words were slightly smudged, clearly made by shaky claws.

"I uh... made you this, Dash. To say... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to abandon you. I never wanted to leave your side. But I thought... I thought you didn't want me there when you started wanting Pinkie to hang out. That if you needed more friends than me, you had stopped thinking of me as cool. Please Dash, I just want to be around you..."

Rainbow Dash snorted, but took the cake. Setting it inside the door, she gave the griffin a long stare.

"I'm going to shut the door, and think. I'm going to eat some breakfast and handle the morning routine. When I finally think of something to say to you, I'll open the door. I'm trusting you to not move from this spot until then. If your words have any value, you'll be here."

The griffin nodded, and the door was shut. Gilda sat out on the porch for hours, the sun rising high and hot, but still she did not move. She sipped water from the cloud, but otherwise didn't eat or drink. All she did was sit, quietly singing that lame song to herself, the only comfort she had for now.

"Junior Speedsters are our lives  
>Sky-bound soars and daring dives<br>Junior Speedsters it's our quest  
>To someday be the very best..."<p>

She sang it once, then twice, then for a tenth time. By the time the sun set she'd lost count around 237. Laying her head down, she curled up and fell asleep on the doorstep, still waiting. It was around midnight when Dash opened the door and nudged her.

"Get up... at least come inside if you're going to sleep."

Gilda gave a weary smile, grateful that she hadn't been forgotten. They came into a sparse living room, the only objects of note were a few photos. One of her with her five other pony friends, a group shot of her day with the Wonderbolts, and several other pictures of winner's circles and contests. But one was central, in the direct middle and visible from any place in the room. It was of Dash and Gilda, all those years ago at flight camp, hoof and claw tossed around the others' shoulder, Gilda laughing as Dash gave a happy, innocent kiss to her cheek. Rainbow followed the stare, and Gilda felt her gut wrench.

"I forgive you for everything. I want you as a friend Gilda, always. I think you're amazing, and while I had talent, you practiced all the time honing your own awesome abilities. Believe me when I think you're the coolest thing in all Equestria. But I still can't understand something."

Gilda blinked, bewildered at the odd turn of conversation.

"What would that be, Dash?"

"Why did you never acknowledge that I love you? I thought I had made it clear. The kissing, the wrestling, everything, but you never said a thing. I'd have been content even just knowing you didn't feel that way. It would have hurt for a while, but I love you enough to let that go. But then you ran at the party, and left me without an answer. You know I hate to be ignored, when I try so hard to make sure I'm noticed. So, Gilda, I have to just ask you. Do you love me, or am I just little sister Dash?"

Gilda's feathers puffed out, the shock stronger than any joy buzzer. _All this time! I thought I had been reading too much, that I saw things for something other than innocent play. But I was afraid! I didn't want to ask __her, and be rejected, but__ after everything, even if I say it, will it really just be so simple? GYAH! No, this is not cool! I have... no. I can stop worrying about cool. I have something better than coolness._

_I have her._

Gilda stepped forward and brazenly kissed Dash upon her cheek. Well, it _felt_ bold, the way they'd both been so timid about this whole thing. Dash looked surprised, but then she broke out in a grin, and she tackled the larger flier, and gave a proper kiss, though lips and beaks have a hard time doing such an act.

Still, all either could think was: _This is SO AWESOME!_


	3. The Party Gilda's View

"Everything's looking awesome, I'll fly back and update the main office. I've got to go help sort the snow until sunset but you'll be free once these last couple are in position. See you at home."

Rainbow Dash took off, leaving Gilda alone to shove the last few clouds into place. The past two weeks had been rough, trying to get everything into a state of normality. Gilda had moved in with Dash, though in separate rooms. They'd been friends so long that they had decided it was a wise choice to wait a while longer before they shared a bed. _I do NOT want to ruin her renewed faith in me by doing something stupid. If I look too eager to do... things, I risk making her think that's ALL I wanted and hurting her again. And WHY ARE CLOUDS SO HEAVY!_

To a pegasus, they aren't. But pegasi have passive magic that allows them to walk on clouds, and push the clouds around to influence the weather. Griffins only had the ability to cloudwalk, and they had had Twilight, who was busy dealing with her rather conceited cousin, do a quick enchantment to allow Gilda the same powers. Still, she was getting used to the work, and it let her both earn some bits, and more importantly, begin the hard task of earning the Ponyville populace's trust. _Good thing Dash has so much sway with the boss. Ok, I'm done here._

Wiping sweat away from her eyes, she sat on top of the cloud, waiting for Dash to come back. Glad to give her wings a break, she laid back and let the sun dry her soaked feathers and fur. At some point she must have drifted off, because she was awoken by the sound of... whirling blades? Sitting up, she saw the familiar contraption used by a certain pink pony.

"Hey Pinkie, I'm glad you let me reveal myself little by little. Dash told me about your Welcome to Ponyville parties. I'm glad you've held off giving one, but why are you flying around on that thing again?"

Pinkie reached into her saddlebag, huffing and puffing from keeping the machine afloat. Gilda grabbed it, holding it in the air and letting the normally energetic pony catch her breath. _Last time I did this, it was to tell her to __go away.__ This time it's so I can help her. Funny how things __can__ play out._ With the griffin's help, Pinkie finally got an envelope out.

"It's about one of my Welcome to Ponyville parties. I JUST found out about Twilight's cousin, so we're gonna have a big get together. I really want you to come, so that way, it'll be like you're getting one too! There'll be cake, and cookies, and punch, and vanilla drops. I'll make sure Dash doesn't set up any pranks this time. They'll be me."

Gilda winced, but still laughed. _I know now she's about as mean as a marshmallow, but this pony's got problems I can't even __BEGIN to__ spell._ Seeing Pinkie had recovered, she let the copter go.

"I'll be there, but you'd better get on solid ground before your lungs give out. This thin air can't be too good."

Pinkie flew off, waving back. Gilda gave a peace sign in return. Waving like that would have been too uncool even if she was trying to fit in more with ponies. Still, her stomach was already tying itself in knots. A dread began washing over her. _A PARTY? Oh I'm in some deep guano. Everybody still doesn't like to be around me. They'll tolerate me with Dash around, but what about when she goes off to talk to her friends? Wait, I know at least one pony who I can hang with at the party. __Let's see if he's invited before I get my hopes up..._

Gilda flew over town and landed outside the gate of the school yard. The young ponies were all messing around on the playground, and were too busy to notice her arrival. However, one of the adults watching over them spotted her. Gilda didn't know her name, but at least the fuchsia pony seemed professionally friendly.

"Hello, I'm Cheerilee, one of the teachers. You look like you're looking for someone, are you friends with one of the children?"

Gilda shook her head, scratching her beak sheepishly. She and teachers got along like fire and oil. _Ok, stay polite. She won't help if you make her want to send you to detention._

"Actually, um, ma'am, I had heard that a unicorn named Words worked here. Is he free to speak right now?"

Cheerilee relaxed. She'd heard rumors about the diets of griffins, and she didn't feel like trusting one around the students.

"He comes by every so often with another little story written for the children, but he isn't employed here. In fact, you just missed him. He told me he was going by the quill and sofa shop to restock."

Gilda was about to take off when a young voice called out.

"Wait! Don't leave yet, you're so cool!"

Pride being a trait for both eagles and lions, Gilda immediately turned to see the compliment giver. A young orange pegasus, wings still under-grown for flight. Gilda's chest puffed out, and her wings spread wide.

"Oh, I'm nothing much… on the ground. Save the comments for when I fly!"

Jumping up, Gilda performed several flips, rolls and dove down, patted the filly on the head, and took off towards the shop. Scootaloo grinned excitedly.

"Rainbow Dash has the coolest friends!"

A few minutes later, Gilda was trying to keep her temper even.

"So you were out of stock, and Wiz walked off mumbling about getting lunch?"

The shopkeeper nodded, cowed by the annoyed figure before him.

"Yeah... say, I see you got one half covered, wanna buy a sofa?"

Gilda roared in frustration and stomped off towards town. Davenport grumbled something about nopony wanting to buy a sofa, not that she cared. _How is it I found him when I wanted to be alone, but now that I want company he's nowhere to be found__?__ When I see him, I'm gonna take his horn and shove another hunk a wood on it. Only this time, it'll be ON FIRE__!_

Muttering death threats under her breath, the griffin stepped into Sugarcube Corner to see about getting something to eat. Pinkie was running the shop, and offered Gilda a special treat: Sunflower Seed Surprise. Gilda took it, though she did feel a bit pigeonholed. She ate only a little, pecking at it. _Just because I'm part bird doesn't mean I like seeds. I only eat them because the last time I asked where I could get some meat, everyone turned green and ran away. Is it so bad to want some fish?_

"Excuse me, but could I ask a favor? Could I have one of your feathers?"

Gilda opened her beak, about to vent some of her frustration on this rude question. But between the large build, green hair and patient eyes, there was no mistaking it. _If I wasn't so happy to see you I'd snap your horn off__!__ If only you knew how hard you are to find, you'd stop being a writer and become a spy. _Instead Gilda gave a bemused laugh, plucked one that had been feeling loose anyway, and let him magically pick it up.

"Alright, but just you Wiz."

He took out a scroll and started from where his last quill had broken. Gilda let him take his time, since she needed to finish eating anyway. He finished before her, and he put everything away.

"Ah, thank you. It's so troublesome to have a thought half finished. Now then, by the look of you, you've had quite the day and it's only lunch time. What have you been up to? Did you patch things up with your friend? Also, I'm afraid you forgot to tell me your name the last time we met. Feel free to answer in any order."

Gilda face-clawed. _How could I forget to tell him my name? I went from friend to stalker in ten seconds flat__!__ Well, better fill him in on everything._

Wiz nodded along as the griffin told him about her going back, the rejection, and the trials she faced getting back Dash's good favor. He was surprised when she mentioned the kiss, admitting he thought it was the love between friends that she was so torn up about. Still, his advice had helped and she thanked him again for it. Gilda told him about how she and Dash had been settling into this new life, and how happy they were with it, despite the continuing social issues.

"We got invited to a party, and I know almost all the ponies are going to be too busy to chat much. You know, it'll be a Pinkie party. Polka, snacks, some dancing, gets kinda boring after a while. You get an invitation by the way?"

"You were hoping I'd come and keep you company?"

Gilda coughed, trying to seem casual about it all.

"No, I was just curious if you'd be coming or not. No skin off my tail if you can't."

Words pulled out a scroll marked Schedule.

"Oh, I don't know, I have so much to do, projects to finish, reviews to read and reply to, edits to make. Busy day today, and the quill hunt only made it worse."

Gilda looked around nervously. The shop had filled up somewhat with other customers. _Desperate times call for desperate measures._ She put her claws together, feeling the cool drain away with each second she was seen like this.

"Aw, come on dude. Please? I need someone there to prove I'm able to hang with ponies. If you don't come, I'll be all alone. Dash is trying, but they still don't want me around too much. They think I'm Queen Lame-o! You're killing me Wiz. Can you come to the party?"

Giving a slightly theatrical sigh, he showed the blank contents of the Schedule scroll.

"Well, I have nothing better to do. Just promise me you'll stay truthful the whole time. All these little lies and acts are what turned you into that Queen Lame-o to begin with, weren't they? You need to stop trying to act cool, and just be Gilda for us to like you."

Gilda's face reddened, embarrassment and annoyance quite clear.

"Wiz, I swear, the stuff you put me through makes me want to strangle you. I'm going to ignore common sense and listen to you, but can I just say one thing about it? You talk like a self help guru and kindergarten teacher rolled into one."

Wiz laughed, for once embarrassed himself. He got up to go, leaving a few bits tip.

"Sorry. But sometimes it's those cheesy, feel good statements a body wants to hear most."

"There you go again dude!"

"I'll see you at the party."

…

Gilda and Dash were fashionably late. _Fashionably, because MISS Rarity is incapable of being tardy. Not even if she had wasted an hour of our time selecting dresses, accessories and makeup, to end up deciding that a Pinkie party only required a bit of blush to reach the right level of dress._ The trio entered, and said the pleasantries to Trixter, who was deep in conversation with the grey mailmare, who's name escaped Gilda. However, it was soon rather obvious the only topic he seemed to care about was himself.

"You know, I wouldn't even be here right now if I hadn't messed up the spell. But still, it's so nice to be out of the spotlight, for once. It's allowed me time to create an even better show! I won't say much but-"

Gilda was only half listening, and nudged Dash. She gestured to the punch bowl, and the duo left the unicorn to blabber on. Getting a cup, Gilda turned to see a few of the pegasi from work. She recognized one as Cloud Kicker, who smiled at Dash.

"Glad to see you could make it. Thanks again for the help with the snowflakes. I'd still be stuck there if you hadn't stepped up!"

Dash shrugged nonchalantly, but smirked after a moment.

"Oh, no biggie, but you still owe me that alfalfa shake for the favor though."

Soon they talked on and on about work, past parties, the weather _They make the weather, why do they need to comment on it? _and several other topics that Gilda found no casual way to include herself into. Even though Dash bumped her side to get a comment, she could only manage yes or no answers. Conversation stopped, as a yell rang over the party.

"WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU DOING TO MY HAT?"

Some big stallion had just had his hat taken by Trixter. Some of the ponies gasped. _What's the big deal? Is that hat important?_

Pouring punch in the hat, the unicorn gave a haughty laugh.

"Relax, bumpkin. I merely needed a large container, you'll get your ragged old hat back when I finish the trick. It won't be damaged. Now then, fillies and gentlecolts, behold, the hat is empty!"

_ Hey, that's actually a pretty good party trick. But I bet it helps when you have magic to help. OH sweet! You need to cool down, have a drink. That's classic._

Gilda laughed quietly as the big pony left. _Aw, he didn't have to be a poor sport about it. Just a prank... __ouch, the irony, it hurts__._

Still, even with the new topic of what had happened, she couldn't talk. The pegasi were shocked and were going on about Big Macintosh this, and yelling that. _Was it that unusual for him to yell? I don't know him, but I guess he does look like the strong silent type. _Just before she felt like leaving the party, Wiz finally appeared, telekinetically holding a cup of punch, a cupcake, and a muffin with a bite out of it. Holding out the cupcake, he spoke around the mouthful.

"Af foo emen et?"

Gilda gave a small laugh at how stupid he sounded, and took the treat. She was glad to have something to do with her mouth that didn't involve another hollow answer. With Words there, helping to guide it, the conversation allowed Gilda more access. Stunts, pranks, holidays, the Wonderbolts, and even baking. This was Gilda's own turn, as she mentioned how hard it was to bake the cake for Dash, but it was still tasty. Cloud Kicker offered to let her try her mother's recipe for Pie in the Sky, and Wiz had quite a bit to say on roasting. It was easy for Gilda to shift it from the veggies to something more filling. _A garlic-butter spread, spit turned fillet of salmon sounds great. With some of that pie and I'll be stuffed__!_

Gilda had been so engrossed, she hadn't noticed Dash had left to speak with Rarity and Co. Her first clue was Dash's rather loud comment.

"Come on Rarity, look at him. He's not one of your prissy little Canterlot colts. He's a country stallion, hot to trot! He'd get her bent over a hay bale and whip-"

Then the orange pony, Applejack, apparently a relative of the red stallion, shoved a hoof in Dash's mouth. Gilda fluffed a bit in annoyance that someone would touch her so forcefully, but seeing as Applejack was a friend, she let it slide. A minute later, Dash signaled it was time to head home. Gilda turned and gave Wiz a hug when no one else was looking their way.

"Thanks dude. I'd have been lost all night if you hadn't popped up."

Words blushed deeply, and returned the hug.

"You're gonna be fine from now on. You just needed that little push out of the nest and into the big full world."

She flicked his horn with a snort.

"There you go again, sounding like a fortune cookie. See yah Wiz."

"Stay frosty, Queen of Cool."

Gilda met Dash outside, feeling in the best mood she'd been in all day. She kissed the cyan pegasus on the cheek, and the two took off for home, leaving a rather stunned country colt in the dust.

…

Words O'Wisdom got home and lit the lamp next to his bed. Curling up, he took out an inkwell and the quill Gilda had been so kind as to give him. He wet the tip in ink, and began a final thought for the day.

"It is a thing of beauty, the bond between friends. It can be formed from a single kind word, or an hours long conversation. It is the trust that holds us together. The faith that somepony will always be beside you, and guide you in your darkest times. It can even make the foundation for a love far deeper, the joining of two lives together to make a glorious whole. Wherever it goes, like Love, Friendship springs eternal. And so I ask you, my faithful readers, my dearest friends, and trusted confidants:

Did you know I love you all, from the bottom of my soul, and thank you every time you read my work? That I bless you, and wish that my words help you, or at the least entertain you. That I wait with baited breath for every letter of thanks, or that I always read every single review you send, hoping to improve just for your sakes? As always, thank you for reading, and watch out for my next writing. I hope you enjoy it as well. -Words O'Wisdom"

Rolling up the paper, he felt contented with the message he'd send to the publisher to add in. Snuffing out the light, the unicorn curled up, and drifted off to sleep.


	4. Intermission: Words' Story

"Good morning Miss Cheerilee, how are you today?"

The unicorn known as Words O'Wisdom smiled at the school teacher, who gave a nod and a slightly strained smile. Words took out a scroll from his saddlebag. It was the list of stories he'd made for the little ones. Normally, Cheerilee would be thanking him, but today she only gave another nod. _Alright, this is not the Cheerilee I know._

"Ma'am, are you feeling well? You're not as vocal as you typically are."

Cheerilee sighed, and when she spoke, her voice was barely audible. Her raspy words came out in short fragments, not very fitting for an educator at all.

"Hurt throat. Long lectures lately. Will live. Thank you for stories."

Words bit his lip, worry etched into every feature. _The poor soul! She couldn't possible teach in this condition._ Words put a hoof on her shoulder.

"Now Cheerilee, you know as well as I do that the young ones, nor you, gain any benefit from pushing yourself like this. You need to go home and rest. It's the last day of the school week, you'll have three days to recover. Take today off, make yourself some thick tea with lots of honey and lemon, and relax."

Cheerilee opened her mouth to object, but Words shook his head.

"Don't you worry about the class, I'll watch over them for you. While I'm not the most scholarly pony, they are only kids. What's the worst that could happen?"

He flinched, while Cheerilee thought it over. He silently cursed himself. _I just said those words didn't I? What's the worst that could happen. Oh Celestia, I'm not going to survive today, am I?_ The teacher finally gave a bright smile and handed him the key to the classroom. It was still a half hour until class, but he unlocked the door anyway.

Even from his youth, the sight of an empty classroom was a comfort to him. The silence, the air still but cool, the absolute order in how clean and neatly rowed the chairs were. Sitting behind the teacher's desk, he flipped open the lesson plan.

"Ok, let's see. Some basic math, some history, pretty simple, shouldn't be too hard. All else fails, I can just start an early recess."

He wasted the rest of the down time writing, and the first little ponies began to file in. Many were somewhat surprised to see the huge unicorn that had replaced their teacher. Others, like Diamond Tiara, could only grin at the realization that today they had a _substitute._ The bell rang, and words put away his scrolls. Clearing his throat, the chatter quieted down as he addressed the class.

"Good morning students. Miss Cheerilee will not be in class today, as she is at home resting her voice. If you wish to make her a get-well card during free time, I'm sure she will appreciate the kindness.

Now, I am Words O'Wisdom. Some of you already know me as the pony who writes some of the stories your teacher tells you. If we're ready to begin, can somepony tell me where your teacher's last lesson left off? I will be watching over you today, but don't think you're getting out of actually learning."

He looked right at Tiara, smiling innocently as she tried to hide a scowl. Twist raised a hoof.

"Mishter O'Wishdom, we were talking about our Cutie Marksh."

Words nodded and picked up the text book. A thought struck him as he flipped through the amazingly boring tome. _Luna, Celestia and the Ursa Major! This thing is dry as a cracker in the desert. And what's this? "Those young ponies who enter adulthood more completely will find a second cutie mark on their bodies, specifically located on their inner thigh. It will in fact be the mark of the pony they lost their... innocence to..." I can't read this to the children! I know most of their parents and older siblings! I know they're at the age it wouldn't hurt them to know, but it's not MY place for that__!_He closed the book and gave a sheepish grin to the staring students.

"Our... cutie marks huh? Well, how would you like to hear the story of how I got mine?"

The class looked at the mark, and their reactions were rather heartening. Some were afraid that the quill and inkwell mark would be very boring, but seeing as his talent WAS telling stories, it couldn't be that boring to hear. Besides, the looks on their faces said, "it was better than proper study." Words heaved a sigh of relief.

"Good. Now, when I was a younger colt, about your age, I was still a big pony. In fact, I was only a little bit shorter than I am now. A lot less chunky, mind you, but that's the price of enjoying too many sweets. Eat healthy, exercise often, and don't let laziness keep you from a well balanced meal."

Words coughed, embarrassed for the sudden health lecture._ Quite a bit of eye rolling in the class already._ He continued on.

"Well, everypony thought I was strong, and that surely my mark would be in labor. When I started to work after class, I began as a helper on Sweet Apple Acres. Of course, this was just after Apple Bloom was born, so she wasn't old enough to know me then."

He nodded at the Earth pony, who was taking notes on the story. _Oh, right. The Cutie Mark Crusaders. I think I remember Rainbow Dash mentioning it the last time __she and Gilda had lunch with me.__ It was quite a shock to see how different Gilda acts around her. Still trying to act cool, even if it isn't needed any more._

"I worked hard, or at least that's what my aching body told me every night when I went to bed. I bucked, pulled carts, pressed juice, checked the distiller, lugged water for the trees, and gathered fallen branches for firewood. But the thing was, it was all just busy work to me. My heart wasn't in it. Now, I love apples as much as the next pony, but at the time the very thought of the fruit made my stomach churn in dislike. In the end, the only reason I kept working was because it gave me the bits to have the freedom to do something I enjoyed; writing!

Now, I know pencils and paper are rather cheap, but I was young and foalish. Writing with a pencil and notebook paper didn't feel artistic enough. Only the finest quills and most expensive parchments would do. After all, if I was going to waste money on a mere hobby, why not make it worth looking at?

Every day after work, I would sit and write stories, little ones at first, one page that amounted to a decently sized joke, but it wasn't enough. I wrote longer stories, but that was their only virtue. I ignored any sort of plot, and just made them a brief moment of amusement, to be set aside and forgotten. Soon, I had a whole file cabinet full of such tales, and it hurt to look at.

'Nopony reads these! I write them for myself, by myself, to myself. I'm just wasting time and money I could be using to do important things.' I said to myself. 'It's all worthless! And I-"

The bell rang for recess, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon all but teleporting out of the room. Several others left with them, but half the class stayed behind. They didn't look like they were going to move.

"Er, it's time for recess students. Aren't you going to go outside and play?"

They shook their heads and one smiled sweetly at the unicorn.

"You... want to keep listening? Well, I suppose it wouldn't hurt. Where was I? Oh yes.

'It's all worthless! And I'm worthless for doing it!' I collapsed on my bed and, I don't mind telling you, I cried. Oh yes, big ponies cry."

He looked pointedly on the few colts in the room.

"Now, I know they say colts shouldn't, but it's alright to cry. Just like being happy, it's a sign you're alive and that's a wonderful thing. A pony who doesn't cry, or laugh, or smile has a name. A pony who doesn't do those things is called a corpse and... sorry. You're just little ponies, I shouldn't continue that."

"Now, just when I was feeling my absolute worst, the school talent show started. My own teacher, Miss Crabapple, asked me to stay after class. I was worried, thinking I'd done something wrong and that I was in trouble. I had hidden a comic book in my text book and I hoped the old mare hadn't noticed. Well, when we were alone, she looked right at me and in her most stern voice said,

'Why have you not signed up for the talent show?'

I was shocked. Why was I getting in trouble for not wanting to embarrass myself? I was on the verge of tears when I yelled at her.

'Because I don't have a talent! I like to write, but it's terrible! It's poorly written, the grammar is horseapples, I can't write about fillies to save my life, and to top it all off, nopony would want to read it anyway! I'm just Wiz the Workpony to them. I'm going to spend my life slaving away and going nowhere!"

Words took a moment to let the rest of the class come back in. As he did, he noticed Apple Bloom looking somewhat concerned. _I did say it was her family's farm I worked at, didn't I?_

"Apple Bloom, and any pony else here who's family works on the farm, don't misunderstand me. Farmponies are valuable assets to the community, providing our food and taking care of the land. They are kind souls, with strong work ethics and even stronger will power. There is no shame in working for a living. I still do, only my work goes into making my stories good enough to share with everypony. To be completely honest, I miss working with my hooves. I had a lot less stress then. You don't have to worry about critics trying to... anyway, I was just upset with doing something I didn't like to do. Your big brother is happy with what he does, and I envy he found his calling so much earlier than I did."

This cheered the filly up considerably, and quite a few of the other students as well. Most of them had farm related cutie marks. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon just shot each other looks of smug satisfaction that they didn't have to play in the dirt for the rest of their lives.

"As I was saying, I vented all my frustration towards my teacher. She listened to me rant on and on, how I was stupid or that my story ideas didn't go anywhere. Almost an hour had gone by and I was left standing there, huffing and puffing. I broke down, crying in front of my teacher. I hid my face, not wanting to be seen or heard. Next thing I knew, that old mare walked over and hugged me.

'Wiz, you're not a terrible writer. I want to show you something.'

She took me to her desk, and opened the drawer that held all our homework. She laid out the pages I had turned in over the school year.

'Now, you're not making too high a grade in math, I want you to work on that, but look everywhere else. You're passing every class where you have to write beautifully. Your pen-work needs improvement, but they're still a joy to read. Won't you please try the talent show?'

I was amazed, looking at what I had turned in for school. I thought, _This is horrid! I have better stories in the bottom of my cabinet, when I was at my worst! That's it, I'm going to join the show and I'm going to write a story that blows any of my previous scribbles out of the water!_ I hugged my teacher and trotted off home."

Words glanced at the clock. Class was going to be over soon. _Applebucker! I wasted the whole day telling them about myself! Cheerilee is going to have my hide for this. Oh well, I'm already sunk__, might__ as well finish._

"I worked hard the next few days. I knew the story had to be just long enough it was fun to listen to, but it couldn't be too long or else I couldn't tell it all in the time allowed for the show. Finally, I finished the story, which Cheerilee now tells you by the way. It was the one about the frog and the bunny princess, and I told it to the audience. I won the award for Drama. Everypony cheered, and I was so happy. After the show, some friends congratulated me on it being so good they actually cried. I went to bed that night knowing I wanted nothing more than to keep writing so ponies everywhere could laugh, and cry, and just plain feel good. The next morning when I woke up, I found my cutie mark, right there on my side."

The bell rang and everypony left. Words set about cleaning the room and he found Cheerilee standing in the doorway.

"Oh! Um… sorry ma'am, I got so into telling the class about my cutie mark, I forgot to actually teach them."

The fuchsia pony just shook her head. Her voice was considerably better, though it did still rasp a bit.

"No, you were fine. I remember that show. You know, I still tear up when I have to tell them about the frog thinking the bunny princess had drowned."

Words blushed, and kicked his hoof nervously.

"Well, glad to know even my old stuff effects ponies every time they hear it. Say um, your voice still sounds a little strained. Would you like to join me for tea at Sugarcube Corner? As professionals."

Cheerilee had had more than a few young colts give her the same timid look in her time as an educator. It was adorable, even now.

"Sure... as professionals."

…

This was going to be a bit more of a proper lesson, with Words telling the class fables with morals to help guide them. But as I started, I realized I never set out much background for my own character beyond his personality. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to give you a look into his past, and establish that even big gu- big ponies have emotional ups and downs.

Thank you very much for reading, I eagerly await your opinions on this little intermission.

Signed. Kyletra

P.S. Forgive the shipping at the end, I just felt like adding a cute moment. I do not think Cheerilee is mah waifu.

That would be Luna.


	5. Dinner with Dash

The night was unusually warm for Gilda's tastes, and she knew the reason why. _I'm grateful Wiz is letting me stay here since I can't fly up to stay with Dash, but this bed just isn't the same as a good cloud._ Tossing off the covers, she got up silently in the night, her eagle eyes seeing clearly in the darkness. She walked into the living room, where Words had taken the couch for his bed. It was odd to see her friend spread out so haphazardly, legs splayed out beneath him with his chin resting on a cushion.

Unlocking the door, she slipped out into the barely lit streets. Walking along, she could only gaze longingly at the sky above. After an incident with a grief stricken big Macintosh, her wing was in no condition to fly. She no longer held any ill will towards the red stallion, but she was still annoyed with how much longer it would take before her bones had knit back together, plus rehab to retrain the muscles.

Gilda sighed, and found herself heading towards Dash's. _I guess I could use the doorbell they made for her. She'll be grumpy, but she wouldn't buck someone already injured._ The "doorbell" was a long rope that went from ground level up to the cloud home. They would have installed a pole, but clouds have a habit of drifting in the wind most days. The griffin tugged the rope, sending a clear note reverberating in the otherwise still air.

Dash flew down a few minutes later, yawning loudly. She didn't seem to have been able to sleep either, eyes slightly bloodshot from staying up. The pair nuzzled each other and found a bench to relax on. Gilda laid her head on the pegasus' side, which evoked a small smile from the tired pony.

"How's the sleepover with Wiz going? You two didn't try any party games did you?"

Gilda gave a snort, and raised her head up to give a small peck to Dash's cheek.

"Maybe we did. Are you worried spending time alone with him might make me reconsider our own relationship? He isn't much to look at, but he's got that "naive nerd" appeal that bad girls like us love."

Rainbow Dash laughed, and nudged the griffin as roughly as the broken wing allowed.

"Please, that taunt doesn't work when you're a fillyfooler. Now if this was Spitfire we were talking about..."

The griffin gave a little smirk, running a claw along Dash's side. _Oh, I won't tell her now. It'll spoil the mood._ Still, she gave another kiss, and they embraced once more before Dash flew back up to finish sleeping. The griffin however still felt restless, but Ponyville wasn't the place for any sort of nightlife, she went to the one place still open.

Berry Punch, while not officially a bartender yet, did leave her door open to "friends" who found themselves with a thirst about them and money she could "borrow". Gilda knocked, greeted by the grape colored pony. Walking inside, there was a small get together happening. Ponies she vaguely remembered as having names like Ditzy and Lyra nodded amiably when she walked by. Berry stood in front of the drinks cabinet.

"Welcome back, we haven't seen you since Rainbow and Cloud Kicker all but dragged you in. Anything special you'd like? With that wing and the look on your face, I'd say something strong would be in order."

Gilda simply nodded, putting enough bits to pay for anything on the counter. Berry thought for a moment and began mixing bourbon, whiskey, tequila, and scotch. Gilda could feel the fiery ache already. Berry grinned and handed her a shot glass of the mix, taking one for herself.

"Called the Four Applebuckers. To your health."

A few more glasses and one round of karaoke later, she had stumbled back into Wiz's house. It was still very early, but she was exhausted from staying up and the drink was hitting her a little harder than she'd expected. _Applebuckers is right, I'm gonna be ruffled in the morning..._ Walking in, she looked at the sleeping friend. _He's so nice to me, almost as much as Dash, and what do I give him? A quill, that's it. And I never see him with any pony, he's working so much. That teacher must really want more stories__. He's__ been talking to her a lot__, maybe__ he deserves something..._

The griffin bent forward, beak almost touching, when the strong scent of spirits stirred the unicorn. He hit consciousness just as they met, eyes widening in shock. He jumped upright, startling Gilda. Normally, he'd have addressed it with a bit more tact, but surprise removed most of his usual filters.

"Whoa there! What the hay was that about? Have you gone crazy?"

The griffin looked ashamed and refused to make eye contact.

"'s not fair. You make everyone else so happy, but nobody doesh anything for you. I know I haven't. I gave you a pen, that'sh all I have 'oneshtly given you." She started to cry softly, hiccuping between the words, "And now -hic- you're sho busy with that teacher, -hic- do you even have time for roman...roblanche... dating? Don't you want a -hic- relationship of your own? I thought I owed you -hic- at least one night, for all you've done."

Words nickered in annoyance. The sound only made Gilda feel worse, as it was only the first time she'd ever heard his patience with her start to run out. Still, it made him calm down and get a better grasp of everything. The scent that woke him came back to mind.

"Gilda, you're drunk. Let's just get you back beneath some sheets, and sleep this off."

She begrudgingly consented to this, and had to all but physically be guided by the claw back into bed. As Words started to tuck her in, she reached out around his neck.

"Could... could you stay in here? You don't have to be under the covers, but... I need someone here right now. Not for anything like what I said, just... I'm so used to Dash sleeping at my side now."

Against his better judgment, the unicorn climbed into bed next to her, though he did keep the layers of blanket and sheet between them. Pressed side to side, the friends finally slept without further interruption.

The following morning, Gilda woke up alone with a pounding headache. At first she panicked, afraid the awkwardness of the previous night had scared off her friend, but the smell of cooking stirred her. She walked into the kitchen to see Words making breakfast potatoes, coffee, and the part that outright shocked her, a full trout being poached in a pot of boiling salt water. Words gave a small nod at the table and plated up her breakfast. Pouring a big cup of black coffee, he gestured for her to sit.

"You're probably a bit worse for wear after last night. Eat up, you need to get something in your stomach, ya hear?"

Her stomach churned, but she ate gratefully nonetheless. _I can't believe it! Where did he get fish? It's not as if any of the stores have it. He actually went out of his way to catch one for me? When did he do that? How early did he wake up?_

He read a newspaper, sipping a coffee made mostly of cold milk and sugar, the only way he could manage to drink it without feeling sick. _He looks like a hatchling pretending to be the father. Is he... yes he is! __He's even reading the funnies!_Gilda earned herself a confused look from her friend as she started laughing, the emotional buildup washed away in the flood of laughter. She wiped a tear away, and finished her meal between chuckles. After clearing away the plates, Words refilled their cups with the last of the coffee and sat down.

"I want you to invite Dash over for dinner tonight. I think if we had a little double date and you got to know Cheerilee, you'll understand it's not merely a professional relationship."

Gilda regretted eating so energetically before. Now it felt as if her stomach was full of hot coals rather than the tender fish.

"Are... you sure about that? Don't you think they'd be a bit uncomfortable considering..."

Wiz cocked his head to the side, a look of innocent confusion.

"Why, whatever for? We're all on good terms with each other, there's no reason they should object to **friends** wanting to have their loved ones meet each other. Why, I for one would be more than willing to visit Cheerilee's friends. Besides, I have already met Dash and she most certainly knows the main teacher for all of Ponyville, we're all familiar with each other. Don't fret, nothing will go wrong."

Words paused for a moment, his eyes losing focus at some hidden terror. Gilda had to cough to get him to come back to reality. Shaking his head, he muttered something under his breath too low to hear, but she'd have sworn she heard something like "too meta" in there somewhere. _He is right, the dweeb. I'm over-reacting. Last night was... weakness. Me and Dash still haven't done anything too heavy, I'm just a bit wound up I guess._

Words left to go tell Cheerilee and Dash about the dinner plans, and to pick up a few things he needed for the dishes he was planning. This left Gilda alone in his house, and the first natural instinct popped to mind. She began to look through his drawers and cabinets, being careful not to disturb too much. It was actually fairly Spartan outside the kitchen's stores of food. Being a pony, he didn't have many clothes beyond a vest or two for the winter chills or summer rains. However, his nightstand proved to be a surprise.

Inside, it held several crumpled scrolls, stories he'd started up, but at some point grew frustrated with and tossed out. One talked of gems that could control earth, fire, water etc. She glanced over several more, wondering what caused him to stop. _Some of these would make for an awesome show if he could get into the business. Pyrotechnics and effects, some rock music and I'm sold._

The one Gilda took the most interest in was a revenge tale of a bullied filly, a rather disturbing read compared to his more fantastic style. It was actually finished, but the rough writing seemed crazed, full of anger and anguish. Every pen stroke was like the slash of the knife, ink dribbled in a few spots like running blood and O's were furious spirals.

A shiver went down her spine, and she winced as it jostled her wing. Carefully, she hid the story under her pillow to read later. _I can't believe that's the same pony. I...I could honestly feel the venom of it. It's like he took it out of a diary. I guess he didn't send it because it wouldn't feel the same set in type rather than the style he could use for pen._

Words came back a few hours later, the door's closing jolting Gilda awake from a nap. They met in the kitchen, Words humming an almost irritatingly cheery song as he set about preparing the food. By the looks of things, he was trying a more Eastern flavor, breaking out a big wok. Carrots, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots, some minced garlic and onions, broccoli and some weird lettuce he said was called "Bawk Choy" or something and little white bean sprouts soon were sizzling in a light sprinkle of oil. Rice was cooking in a big pot, a few starchy bubbles coming out the small hole in the top for ventilation.

But once again, Gilda's attention focused on the special item just for her. _SALMON! The applebucker somehow got a big fillet of salmon! Oh Words, I could just kiss you! Er... again. _He coated it in a glaze made from soy sauce, honey, brown sugar, minced onion and garlic, and ginger. As it baked in the oven, Gilda had to actually step outside to get awake from the maddening scent.

Soon, Dash arrived and was greeted to the sight of a griffin trying very hard not to drool while staring through the kitchen window. Sneaking up behind, the pegasus puffed on the griffin's neck, causing a flinch of surprise followed by a guilty smile.

"Dude got me some salmon! Where did he even get it, it's not like ponies have seafood stores."

Dash thought for a moment herself, when the answer finally became obvious. She facehoofed, turning bright red in shame for not realizing sooner.

"Fluttershy! She keeps some fish around to feed the animals that don't eat plants. She probably has a whole storeroom full of it. They die when they spawn, right, and you know... waste not want not. Why didn't I think to ask? You've been on a fish craving ever since you got here."

Gilda kissed her teasingly. _You didn't think because you're a pony. Eating meat of any kind just isn't something you do. I'll have to thank her next time I see her. _Cheerilee coughed lightly, causing the pair to blush a bit at being caught. The teacher gave a somewhat sheepish smile, a slight curve of the lips.

"Um, hello. I think we'd better go inside if you two are going to keep up the PDA."

Feeling like two little fillies caught passing notes, the pair went inside without a word. Walking into the dining room, Words had already plated the food for everyone. The stir fry and fish rested atop a mound of rice, steaming in its fluffy perfection. There was soy sauce, a clear bottle full of red chili sauce, and two types of tea, a large pitcher of sweet tea and a pot of green tea. Words laughed nervously as they looked at the spread.

"I think I over cooked it a bit, the broccoli is pretty much mush, and the salmon might be dry. Still, I like eating this sort of thing so much I wanted to try making it myself. Let's eat."

Gilda was surprised how well the evening was going. The food was good, even if he had burned the fish a bit. Jokes were shared freely, Cheerilee knowing more than a few that managed to make Words' face turn red. _Looks like the kids know more dirty jokes than you'd think, and she's heard every one of them. Heh, she's not bad for a schoolmare. I guess I didn't have to embarrass myself at all._

Eventually, the conversation swung to the recent happenings, namely, Granny Smith's passing and Fluttershy's expecting. This in turn lead to a subtle change in the mood. Cheerilee seemed to focus a little too long on Words when he mentioned how lucky Big Macintosh was, seeing as he was about to be a father. Gilda picked up the unspoken thought, and the next words just slipped.

"You might want to get on it yourself Words, Cheerilee isn't getting any younger."

Cheerilee shot an icy glare at the griffin.

"Oh? I'm 'not getting younger' am I? I'm some old mare seeking company with a young stallion? Do YOU think I'm with him, not because of the emotions and support we have for each other, but because I want some 'Green wood' to bend how I like it? Do you have an interest in him, and want me out of the way, you flighty bird? Honestly, I'm only a few years older than him! Just because I am a teacher doesn't make me some grey old mare!"

Words looked at them helplessly, the sudden shift leaving him flabbergasted. Dash slammed her hooves on the table.

"Don't you attack her, she didn't say any of that. And anyway, are you nuts? Gilda's a fillyfooler, she doesn't even like colts."

"Well..."

All attention focused on the griffin. She stared down at her food in shame.

"I never said I loved fillies, I said I love you Dash. If Wiz has taught me anything it's the need to be open and honest with you so I got something to say. I'm... well, a flip flop...and last night I kissed him. But I didn't mean it! I was drunk, and I felt miserable that he'd been doing so much for me, and I never gave him anything so..."

A knock at the door interrupted them. Words opened it to see Big Macintosh, worrying a sprig of grass between his lips. They talked for a moment, too distant for Gilda to hear, but she did notice them look at her. The workhorse left and Words came back to the table. Intrigue set aside the drama for the moment. Words took a long drink of tea before speaking.

"Big Macintosh wants Gilda and I to be two of the pallbearers at the funeral tomorrow. He's also requested I lead the service, which I'm doing as a favor to the family rather than as a paid service. They don't need the extra money troubles for something like that.

Now, I want you to know, the kiss, as far as I'm concerned, did not happen. I love Gilda as a friend, nothing more, nothing less. Cheerilee, you on the other hoof, need to put those worries to rest. I wouldn't be with any other pony, or being period, in all Equestria. I don't care you're a bit older than me, it just means you're worldly enough so that I can talk freely to you and know I'm getting a real opinion and not some foalish parroting of another.

I know the tension won't go away in the space of the evening, because the trusts we've built have been shown weakness. But this is for the best. We are laid bare, no secrets. I trust you three now more than I would the Princesses. I have faith that we'll climb over this mountain and be all the happier for it."

Cheerilee looked at Gilda, face riddled with guilt.

"I'm sorry. I've been worrying about the perceptions of others so much, that I started to fear they were true. And you staying here while you were healing, it made my distrust boil over and cause this big mess. Can you forgive my outburst?"

Gilda could only nod. She knew firsthand what it was like, jumping to conclusions, fearing the worst and causing an uproar with your hurt feelings. She looked at Dash, who had been upset herself at the admittance of the kiss, smirking now.

"Maybe some time we could try a partner swap. I have a schoolfilly outfit somewhere..."

The others turned crimson, causing the cyan pony to burst out laughing. This tore away the bad feelings, and once more the evening turned pleasant. When they finished eating, Words offered to walk Cheerilee home. Getting ready to go, the teacher pulled the other two aside out of his hearing.

"You two stay here, and use his bed... he won't be needing it tonight..."

Dash grinned mischievously at the schoolmare.

"So it seems like you've got something special in store for the lucky colt. Well, just be careful he doesn't snap when you try to bend him."

Blushing at the thought, Cheerilee gave a nod of honest determination and left with Words. Gilda had stood there, beak wide open at the conversation she'd listened to. Looking at Dash, the pegasus winked at her.

"Well, you heard the teacher, It's time for recess…"

The pony went into the bedroom, stopping in the door frame to give a quick shake of the tail before disappearing inside. Gilda looked up to the skies, mouthed a "Thank you" and slammed the bedroom door shut behind her. Their voices could be heard just outside the door.

"Gilda, why are you just looking at me like that?"

"Could you... go get that outfit? I suddenly feel the urge to... educate."

"Yes, Miss Griffin. I'll be right back... but I may be tardy, and you'll have to punish me~"

As he walked her home, Words thought back to this morning, and the moment he had spent spaced out. _Well, it could have gone worse, and at least nopony got hurt beyond some misspoken words. All in all, it's __been a__ good night. _Cheerilee opened her door, and brought him inside with a coy smile plastered to her face. _By the looks of things, it's only going to get better too._

…

Well, sorry this one ended up a bit more... raunchy than usual. Then again, they are adults, so they gotta do SOMETHING sometimes right? Doesn't help we have Dash, who I've always seen as the most outgoing about this sort of thing. For the ones who LIKED this sort of dip into depravity, I won't be writing clopfics any time soon, so fill in the rest yourself.

Thank you for reading, I hope this one didn't make you hate me too much.

Kyletra


	6. Truth or Dare

Gilda, still grounded by the broken wing, was slowly growing bored out of her mind from the inaction. If it weren't for Words, Cheerilee and Dash keeping her company, she'd have already succumbed to insanity. However, this would not be the case for very much longer, as she answered a knock at the door.

Pinkie Pie waltzed right into Words' home and set down two very full saddlebags. Before Gilda could comment on the rudeness of just entering someone's house, the unicorn himself entered. As the pink pony set about decorating, the two exchanged a mutual thought. _She's a very nice pony__, stranger__ than fiction, but nice._ Words set about pulling different board games out of his pack.

"I thought maybe a true game night might help bring your mood up. Cheerilee and Rainbow Dash are coming over too, and I believe it's going to turn into a bit of a sleepover."

Gilda helped set up a snack table with him. She gave a small laugh as the statement sunk in.

"So wait, it's going to be you, four girls, and by the looks of things, quite a bit of liquor? Aren't you the least bit worried about how awkward things could get with that?"

"Oh please. I have the tact to keep my wits about me, both around women and wine. And seeing as I am in a relationship with Cheerilee, who will also be there may I remind you, I wouldn't dream of breaking that trust. Especially with how worried she was about everything."

Gilda clicked her beak, but on the inside she was in turmoil. _It's not you I'm worried about. I try not to get drunk, but Dash always has a bit of __a__ party animal in her. And she was the one who suggested we do a bit of partner swapping..._

They had just finished laying the last of the food down when the two girls showed up. Cheerilee heaved a small sigh and flopped onto the couch eagerly. Words brought her a cup of punch, which earned a grateful smile.

"Thank you, sweetie. Do you have anything for a headache? I'm afraid the homework piled up without me noticing and I had to do a marathon of grading."

A bottle of aspirin was handed over. Pinkie had the compassion to keep the music low and peaceful, despite her urges that screamed to make the rafters shake. Words looked over the games, and he suddenly grimaced.

"Pinkie, all these games are for two players only."

The party pony giggled mischievously, prompting a slightly apprehensive look to pass amongst the others.

"Well duh Words! How else was I going to get everyone to play the game I wanted to? Tonight, we're going to play Truth or Dare!"

Gilda blinked a few times, mentally played the scene back over in her head. _I__...__ I think Words just pulled off a sonic rainboom. But if what Dash has told me, Pinkie'll have the dweeb back __here__ in no time. Truth or dare is my kind of game, and it's __about__ time I got to turn things around on you buddy._

Words was actually dragged in on a wagon, hogtied and struggling. Cheerilee could only stare in shock while the Junior Speedsters cracked up laughing. Pinkie only untied him when he promised to stay and play.

"Alright, Words, since you ran off, you're going to be the first target. Truth or Dare!"

"Fine... I pick Truth."

Gilda smirked, feeling he'd taken the easy way. _Weenie. _Pinkie thought for a moment on what sort of question to ask the stallion. He was normally so open with everything that they'd really have to dig to get something of interest out of him.

"Oh, I know! Who was your first kiss?"

Words blushed deeply, and seemed to try to hide within himself. He mumbled the answer, which only made the others keep poking and prodding until he spoke up.

"Bi- Big Macintosh."

The women were silent for a moment, various levels of shock and bemusement or a mix of the two contorting their faces. Cheerilee tried hard not to laugh as he tried to sputter out the explanation.

"It wasn't love or anything! He'd lost one of his bets with Applejack, and he had to kiss the first non-relative he saw that day. And it was just my luck I popped over early to help with the harvest. He caught me by surprise!"

Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Gilda had a lot less discipline than the school mare. Words, though still flustered, managed a grin of his own. _It was funny, but I think it's time I got my own amusement tonight._

"Alright, Dash. Truth or Dare?"

The overconfident flier gave a roll of the eyes. "Dare."

Gilda scooted slightly away from her beloved. The grin that had spread on Words' face disturbed her. _Whatever it is he's planning, it is not going to be pretty._

"Rainbow Dash, I dare you to visit Rarity tomorrow and get the frilliest dress bits can buy. Then, you'll wear it for the next Summer Sun Celebration."

Dash gave a rather theatrical "Noooo!" but everyone just gave a chuckle at the mental image. Fuming at the indignity she's have to endure, Dash looked for the happiest face to turn into her victim. Of course, this turned out to be Pinkie Pie, but seeing as she'd already gone, Gilda was the next choice.

"Ok, you're not getting the option Gilda. Truth time. Now that you're sober, would you still like to kiss Words?"

An awkward silence followed. While there were no objections directly, it still was slightly uncomfortable for the others to bring it up. Gilda gave a sheepish smile to Cheerilee then stared at the ground.

"Well, I wouldn't freak out if it was a dare... but ok. My turn! Cheerilee, Truth or Dare?"

The teacher gave a small sigh, glad the griffin had chosen to move along as swiftly as possible.

"I suppose I'll take dare, just to keep the pattern going. Give me your worst Gilda."

"Well, how about this. I kissed your partner, why don't you return the favorite and make out with Dash for a minute?"

"Didn't you only give Words a peck?"

Cheerilee immediately regretted the pun, from the stares she got. Except for Words, who could only laugh like a little colt. He patted the teacher's shoulder.

"Well, you better do it honey. If you back out you get something a lot worse. Just remember, Dash has a lot more practice than I do. She's probably way better..."

This earned a shove as the group moved around to allow the show to begin. Gilda was surprised at how nonchalant Dash was being about it, but then, Dash was the full fillyfooler and probably would have had the harder time if it was Words. The bigger surprise was it was Cheerilee taking the lead.

Words tapped Gilda's side and they made eye contact. He was grinning like an idiot, clearly enjoying the turn of events. _Boys will be boys I guess. I just hope things cool down after this. Things are getting a bit out of hand here..._

Pinkie announced when the minute was up and the two mares split apart. They returned to their partners sides, feeling a bit light headed. Cheerilee recovered, and gave the griffin her own sheepish grin.

"Ok... I think Words was right. You're lucky to have such an amazing kisser. But don't feel insulted if I say I like Words better anyway. Pinkie, Truth or Dare?"

The game continued on, thankfully much more innocently. The dares were simple things like putting on bad makeup and being forced to recite a poem made up on the spot. Or the truth of how Pinkie really earned her cutie mark, or the current topic.

"Alight Words, have you ever written anything about one of us?"

The unicorn turned crimson. This confused the girls, and only made them press it harder. Finally he gave in with a sigh.

"Ok, I did write... something about Cheerilee and Gilda, just after the dinner get together."

"Well, what did you write us doing then?"

"That wasn't the question! I'm not answering that Pinkie Pie-"

A pillow was thrown in his face by Cheerilee.

"Come on, Mister O'Wisdom. What happened to the whole, 'trust and open book?' Spill it, or it's detention for you..."

Words squirmed, far more than the first question had sparked.

"It was... an experiment."

Gilda was amazed at how much he was fighting it now. The running at the beginning now seemed less evasive. Then a thought struck her.

"It wasn't something er, clop worthy, was it?"

"Well, it might be to a certain audience."

"And that would be?"

"... The male and fillyfooler audience."

As one, the group facehoofed and left the house, leaving Words alone.

"Wait, what happened? Girls? Gilda? Cheerilee? It just happened!"

"We're getting ice cream you dweeb, you coming?"

"Oh um... yes. Just let me destroy, I mean, clean up a bit around my writing desk."

…

Forgive how late, adult, and overall stupid this story is. I find myself constantly undermining any real seriousness in a story as another grows in its. Still, I wanted to stir some false tension and a few stupid jokes to prepare me for the drama to come in Trixie's Costume. Hope this got a chuckle out of you.

Kyle


	7. Intermission: Whet Stone

"Alrighty, me and Cheerilee are going out for the evening. You sure you don't want to come along Gilda? Octavia's performances are always beautiful."

The griffin shook her head. _No way you're going to get me to listen to that classical __lime__. Besides, I've got some reading to catch up on..._

"Suit yourself. Ok, let's go before all the good seats are taken."

The griffin waited until she couldn't hear their hoofsteps before walking into Words' bedroom and reaching underneath the pillow. She'd stashed this little scroll away when she was last left alone, but hadn't had the chance to read it until now.

With only a single dim oil lamp for light, the griffin unrolled the paper, and began to read. It had been a tale the unicorn had even gone so far as to finish, but tossed it into his failed story drawer. It wasn't anything like what Words had written before, and this is what both drew and scared Gilda.

…

The beginning is written in very neat, legible, textbook cursive, not frills or special touches like hearts over the i's

I think I have to introduce myself before I begin. I am Whet Stone, and my parents were rock farmers. Every day, we'd go out into the field and check the rocks, rolling them over to make sure each side was exposed to the elements to allow erosion to spread evenly. I'm using the past tense because I don't live with them anymore, largely because they aren't alive anymore. Celestia knows what caused that rock slide, but I can't be angry at stone.

Stone... stone in name, in work, in attitude. Stone cold, uncaring, blank. I'm not the prettiest pony around either. Grey hide, dirt brown hair and a cutie mark of a flat rock. The only thing I've ever got a compliment on is my eyes. I have very light purple irises, like Amethyst stuck in the ugly little rock that is the rest of me.

My talent is making whet stones, which isn't a very useful talent to have. I make things that make blades sharper, able to cut and slice and stab with ease. The few chefs I know have always been the best source of business, and they're always oh so very nice to the plain little mare who sells them rocks "dirt cheap".

And that's about it. There really isn't very much to me. I'm just Whet Stone, one of the many pebbles tossed around by fate. I have nothing to hide from anyone. Well, maybe one thing. I have been nursing a crush on a certain pegasus for a very long time.

Firefly was a lovely filly, with her pink fur and blue mane. But what I loved most was the double blue lightning bolts on her flank. She was so unlike me, a drab little Stone, stuck on the ground. She could fly and turn and twist in the sky. She was courageous and headstrong, but that only made her dearer to me. Firefly was bold enough to go out and make herself seen, while I just tried to get by. I never had much of an excuse to see her though, outside of when she'd bring the rain and snow to help with breaking down the rocks.

But how happy I was every time she'd come! She was the only pony to ever socialize with me. She would come into my home, drink tea and chat while the rain pounded on the tin roof. It was always so warm and cozy. I wished the rain would never end. That we could just stay inside, and talk forever.

But time would roll by, and soon she'd have to go back to work. I haven't built up the courage to ask her to do anything outside of work yet. But she's so nice to me, I... I gotta do it.

…

Gilda set the scroll down and took the lamp into the kitchen. She set about making herself some coffee, the sound of the water percolating was a comfort on the otherwise still night. _Now that I think about it, Firefly sounds a lot like Dash. I wonder if Words based her off __of__ Dash?_ After pouring herself a mug, the griffin went back to the bedroom to continue reading.

…

Here, the scroll went from the nice curly script, to a rather shaky pen-stroke. Droplets smudged the ink, as if the writer had been crying

I'm a foal. An overgrown, stupid, over-thinking, underachieving foal. If I'd bothered to talk more about her personal life, than try and avoid hinting my own interest, I would have caught this sooner. Firefly doesn't have the same feelings for me. No, I wasn't stupid enough to tell her. She told me she'd found a nice colt, and was planning on retiring early and starting a family.

When she told me, my teacup fell to the ground and shattered. I couldn't believe it. Why? I thought. Why in Celestia's name are you so blind Whet Stone? Firefly never had feelings for you. She was just being professionally polite. Hay, she probably only bothered coming in just to get a free lunch and out of the rain.

She... she's like everypony else. She wants nothing, nothing at all to do with me. All she wants are the few things I have to offer others. My love and my attention aren't of any interest to her whatsoever. Fine. From now on, this sheet of paper shall be the only soft side I have. No longer will I allow myself to be hurt by others or myself.

Stone in name, in work, in attitude, and now in heart.

…

Gilda jumped at a sudden bolt of lightning, the flash lighting the night sky seen through the window. _Oh right, we had a big storm planned tonight. Well, I better get a refill and an extra blanket._ The rain beat on the thatch roof, the dull percussion deceptively soothing between the sudden booms of thunder. Curled up under the blankets, warm drink at her side, Gilda resolved to not get up until the little tale was finished.

…

Now the writing was bestial, a fury spurring the writer to press so hard the paper was actually cut through in places from the pressure of the quill

Hehehe...hehehe No more. No more no more no more. Firefly had brightened my life, and if she honestly thinks she can get out of it without my consent, she has another thing coming. I'd always thought MAKING whet stones was my talent. No no. Using them has given me the oddest sense of satisfaction I'd ever felt. To hear the steel scraping along the oiled stone, oh it was music to my ears!

She didn't appreciate the performance. Of course, when you're still groggy from having your head smacked with a slab of marble, you can only hear the ringing in your own head. She'd come in for tea, she wasn't expecting the knockout blow.

Slowly, I took the blade, dragging the flat edge along her spine. She jumped awake, but couldn't move with her legs and wings bound in thick ropes. She screamed, and I did nothing to stop her. It wouldn't have mattered, nopony lived anywhere near me. But I didn't want her to speak any more. Whenever she talked now it could only hurt me. Mist Jumper this, ceremony that.

DID SHE HAVE TO CONSTANTLY REMIND ME HOW I WAS TO BE ALONE? Without her, without her working, I'd have nothing. It would be me, and rocks. The applebucking ROCKS! No, don't get mad Whet. The rocks can't do anything. They aren't the ones who mislead you, made you think they cared. No, this writhing, angry pegasus is the one.

I stabbed the knife into the floorboard next to her face. This did nothing to quiet her, but it made it easier for me to actually do it. I kissed her, teeth gripping hers so they wouldn't bite out my tongue. She was mine, and I was going to take what I've wanted. She struggled, but working with stone my whole life made me far stronger than any cloud pusher.

And then, I took the rest of her. First I-

…

Gilda spent the next half hour reading the scroll's details. Her face turned crimson, a mix of shame and excitement. _Wow... I didn't know Words had it in him. Maybe I should clo- I mean stop and skip ahead a bit. _

…

Now, the writing is as uniform as it was in the beginning, but a few wet smudges of what appeared to be red ink

Finally, I was contented. Coated in sweat, I left the house to rinse in the still pounding rain. Oh, how wonderful it was to be alive in that moment! I'd done it! I had her, I'd taken her, and now she was mine forever! Let the rain pour for eternity, so that I may never be forced to part from her again!

Cleansed, I walked into the house to find... nothing. Nothing but the ropes, cut cleanly, and the hole where the knife had been. A creak above warned me, and I jumped to the side as she came down. I turned and bucked her into the wall. There was an ominous snap, and she crumpled. I walked over and nudged her, trying to get her to awaken.

I had snuffed out the light. I... no. she attacked me! She brought this on herself! How dare she leave me alone, in the ultimate way! I took the knife and made sure I, and I alone, was the one to say when she was gone. I only stopped when it embedded itself in the bone and even my own strength wasn't enough to free the blade.

Why? Why are you so stupid, so plain and drab Whet Stone? The only thing you've even been good at is making things sharper, and there it is. Too dull to be pulled back out. But don't worry. You have next time too. Mist Jumper will surely want to be with his, and I spit the word, beloved.

Stone will always be harder than Mist or Fire.

…

Gilda put the scroll away, and tucked it back under her pillow. She snuffed out the light of the lamp, and hid under the covers. _She was alone, and... loved a pegasus to the exclusion of all others and because she let it get to her, she destroyed everything... Words... you dweeb._

…

Well, I'm not sure if this is what I wanted when I wrote it, but I liked the way it turned out. I'm not very good with gore or rape and the like, those are rather too dark for my tastes. So I just... yeah. Hope you sleep well. And it was storming here earlier, so I'm glad the power didn't go out and let me finish this for y'all.

Kyle


	8. The Great Outdoors

"Let's go camping, it'll be great fun. The Great Outdoors, with all the fresh air, and the clean water, and the lovely view from the mountain tops. I _sure_ am glad we're hiking for three hours through the underbrush, and I just love the view of three lovely flanks in front of me. But you know, I just can't help but mull over one thing. How did I end up the pack mule again?"

Gilda, Dash and Cheerilee giggled at Words, who was lagging somewhat behind them on the hiking trail. Rarity had offered to watch the Library, and Spike, while Words and the others took a much needed vacation. Lacking the funds for a big trip, Words mentioned he used to be a Scout in his youth, and still had the old tent and other equipment stored away.

An afternoon sorting through the dusty attic, and they had a large family tent, some cooking utensils, and an old lantern. They had almost set out when Cheerilee had the presence of mind to suggest they also bring a first aid kit, food, and latrine tissue. This meant that by the time they began the hike in earnest, there was quite a load on the unicorn's back. Cheerilee slowed her pace and walked with him.

"Well, as I recall YOU were the one to suggest you carry everything. Something about your personal pride commanding that no lady, even ones like Dash, should ever perform physical labor in your presence. That it was the Stallion's duty, no, privilege to display his strength and fortitude by performing all of said tasks."

Words gave a sheepish laugh, blushing at the declaration.

"I did say something like that didn't I? And let me guess, you're all too willing to let me go through with it as punishment for such an antiquated and sexist thought?"

The teacher smirked over at the winged couple, who could barely contain their laughter at their writing friend. _Oh, he is a smart one isn't he? Well, he's been punished enough..._ Cheerilee kissed his cheek and took some of the bedrolls off his back. Laying them across her shoulders, she flicked her tail on his cutie mark. He jumped in surprise at the gesture, and was treated to a coy smile from the fuchsia pony.

"Giddy up, we need to make camp before sunset after all. Dash found the site hours ago, so we know which direction to go in. We'll be waiting."

Cheerilee sprinted ahead, and the girls took off along the trails to leave him behind in the dust. Words snorted and pawed at the ground before galloping after. _Is it possible to curse your own name? I can't believe I forgot what a pain camping was!_

It was an hour later when he finally walked into the clearing. It was right along the river bank, with flowers growing all over. A mini-paradise in the middle of, to Words, The Accursed Forest. He was hot, sweaty, huffing and puffing. Gilda watched him as he shook off the gear, and then dunked his head into the river to drink. _Wow, for some reason he's __not a..._ She gagged dramatically. _Ugh I was honestly going to think that awful pun wasn't I? _

Still, once he'd cooled his head, Words came back much more chipper than when he'd arrived. He hummed to himself as he set up the tent, the poles connecting easily with the aid of unicorn magic. Cheerilee had stomped up the dirt and laid stones in a circle to create a spot for the campfire. And Dash was flying up above, making sure the weather would be clear for the evening.

While all this was going on, Gilda gathered up the firewood as best she could. She clutched the sticks and broken branches to her chest with one arm, while she hobbled along to the next one on three legs. It was slow going, and it frustrated her to know it would have been done ages ago if only her wing wasn't still banged up.

She tripped, and the bundle scattered in front of her. She reared up as if to scream, but instead merely heaved a sigh. She began to gather them up again, but this time a silly, yet brilliant idea struck. Wrapping her tail around the sticks, she found she could carry them freely now. _I'm such a dweeb for not thinking of this sooner._

When she returned, the ponies seemed to just be finishing up. Words had put up a tripod with a camping coffee pot full of water over the fire site. They were going to boil the water, pour it into some instant noodles for dinner, and use the rest for hot cocoa mix. Around it, four blankets had been laid out so that they would sit evenly spaced from each other. Cheerilee stepped out of the tent, the sleeping bags were also set apart enough that they wouldn't be too cramped.

Dash hadn't returned yet, which made Gilda feel somewhat better. _At least they weren't waiting on me._ She dug around the packs for a while before finding the flint and tender. By the time a spark finally caught, the sun had just dipped over the horizon. Dash landed a moment later, causing the flames to crackle and pop.

Everyone gathered around the fire, waiting for the water to heat. They stared into the flames until Dash gave a forced cough.

"You know, while we're waiting, maybe we could do something to pass the time. Words, got any old camping stories?"

The color leaving the unicorn's face made Gilda rub her claws together. An evil chuckle escaped her beak.

"Oh, he's got one. Come on dude, tell us. Did you mix up poison ivy with your salad or something?"

The unicorn looked up to the sky, admiring Luna's work for a moment. He whimpered pathetically as the seconds ticked by, three smiling females waiting for the story. _Why is it __that__ every time I try and just have a nice evening hanging out with friends, I have to embarrass __myself with my stupidity?_ He forced himself to look at each of them, lips pursed as he gauged their eagerness.

"Alright, you win, I'll tell you guys, but you have to promise to carry everything on the way home. Pinkie Pie swear."

The oath was spoken with false seriousness, which was the best he could have expected. The water's bubbling didn't hinder the tale's beginning, and his magic poured it into the paper bowls.

"Ok, when I was just a foal, I was a member of the Colt Scouts. We'd go out on nature hikes, learn to cook or perform first aid, that sort of thing. Well, every time we went camping, I'd end up hurt one way or another. Don't laugh, I haven't even told you how yet.

Right, well, one time, we went to this old fort on the coast. The evening was pleasant, good weather, sea air yadda yadda. Dinner was a loss though. You see, I was the one who was supposed to cook spaghetti for my entire "Stable", the group of colts my age in the "Herd" Gilda. Well, the quartermaster for my Stable forgot to pack the sauce mix, so we ended up with a huge pot of plain noodles.

But that's not why I got hurt. You see, it wasn't so much a fort as it was just the base of an old battlement. And we were playing around after our noodle supper, playing tag with the concrete ruins as the safe zone. I run up and slammed my hoof down right on top of a rusty bolt. Slashed me pretty good. I spent that night almost in tears for fear of lockjaw until we contacted my parents and found out my tetanus shots were still good."

Cheerilee's face was contorted with concern for the young Words, and the girls were in mild shock. While it wasn't funny, it was interesting to try and envision a crying Words. It almost seemed impossible. _He always acts like he has everything under control, to think of him breaking down just because of a scratch..._

"Then another time, I was foaling around with some plastic in the fire. I scooped some of the molten, flaming goop up on a stick and posed. I looked like a very chubby and stupid Beacon of Peace. And then a glob landed right on my horn, and I suddenly looked like a very chubby and stupid brown streak, right up until I rammed my head into the ice water we had in a cooler."

This caused the reaction they had been waiting for. They slurped up their noodles between fits of giggles as he told more stories. Like the time he participated in the Belly Flop competition at summer camp, and had the entire front of his body spanked red on impact. He didn't even place despite his efforts. Or when he cannonball-ed onto something called "The blob" that floated on the lake and launched a smaller colt twenty feet up.

"Oh, here's one. During the winter, I went to day camp and would come home in the evening. Now, I've always been a picky eater, so I would pack lunches rather than eat the meals they provided for all the attendees. All told, it was around three hundred colts and their parents I think. Give or take a score.

Well, the very last day, I had snacked early in the morning rather than wait. I was quite the glutton even then. Well, by lunch time I was hungry again. But they were serving chili with onions in it and I didn't like onions then. So I just ate a sandwich with a bit of cheese they gave for the soup. Big mistake. Turns out the cheese was contaminated. Almost everypony there spent the next week living in the bathroom. Worst part, for young me, was that I knew even then that I had nopony to blame but myself for pigging out too early."

He only stopped talking when nature called. Getting up, he nodded to the girls as he grabbed the paper and disappeared into the woods. His voice had almost given out as it was, so they didn't begrudge him the break. They sat around the still warm embers, lost in their own thoughts, the occasional snort of laughter as their mind swayed back to the stories. Cheerilee shook her head, and absentmindedly spoke.

"Quite the stallion isn't he? Just when you think you know him, he shows that extra bit he hides from the public. Not because he honestly doesn't want to tell, just you haven't asked. If he really wanted to hide that stuff from us, it would have taken a lot more than a few jabs to get it out of him. He's an open book, just some of the pages are stuck together."

Gilda swirled the remains of her cocoa, when an odd thought struck her.

"Hey Dash. Unicorns are supposed to have special magic right? Something they can do that relates to the whole cutie mark talent thing. All I've ever seen him do is holding stuff, but that's something they all can do."

The pegasus dredged up her memories of the stallion, though she'd hung out with him far less.

"Yeah, I've never seen him do anything. Cheerilee, do you know?"

The teacher opened her mouth, but her face went blank. She'd known him for years, but now that it was brought to her attention, she could safely say she'd NEVER, not once seen him perform any sort of magic beyond the basic telekinetic abilities. Rainbow Dash clapped her hooves together.

"Alright, I know his voice is almost gone, but we're not going to stop thinking about this until we get an answer. We find out tonight."

"Find out what?"

Dash spun around, heart racing from the sudden speech. Words smiled innocently at the pegasus. Gilda was impressed, in spite of herself. _For a big guy, he's quiet. I saw him walking up on her ages ago though. He's got two settings: Slow and No Go. But,right now, magic._

"We want to see you do some magic before bed Wiz. Unicorns have magic related to their talents, what's yours?"

He gave a pleading look to Cheerilee. The teacher giggled, but motioned for him to tell. He actually groaned out of exhaustion.

"Is this 'Interrogate Words' night or something? Celestia save me, leave me some secrets. Fine, I can see it in your eyes. I'll tell. But know I am now starting to hate you all. A little. Some. Kinda."

The dramatics garnered no sympathy, just rolls of the eyes. Snorting, he dug out some writing supplies, his quill paper and an empty inkwell. This earned a look from the girls, but he raised a hoof to silence them.

"Ok, you know I buy quills often, and paper more so. But I never mention the cost of inks, even the expensive purple ones I use for birthdays, did I? Well, It's kinda embarrassing but... well watch."

Shutting his eyes, he put his horn to the inkwell. From the tip, a bubble formed, which turned to a small stream of jet black ink to fill the bottle. His face contorted in concentration, and Dash chose this moment to get him back for the startle earlier by yelling loudly in his ear.

Bolting upright, the ink shot out in a thick strand, splattering on Gilda's white feathers. Dash rolled over laughing at the open beaked look of shock on the griffin's face. She clicked her beak, and rubbed some of it between her claws.

"Sticky."

This sent Dash into deeper hysterics. Words mumbled an apology, as Gilda left to clean off the goo. Cheerilee scowled at the pegasus, who was still making a foal of herself when Gilda returned.

"And just what was so funny about all this, Miss Dash?"

"Oh, you should see things with my imagination. Think that scene through one more time."

Everyone did, with no real reaction beyond the mild humor of the surprise.

"Now remember he said he makes different color inks? Imagine if it had been white. Especially when Gilda said "Sticky."

A mental edit, and Dash grinned like a mad mare as they each reached the same conclusion at the same time. Words hid his face in shame, bundling a blanket around his head rather than leave the horn out. Gilda covered her eyes, shaking as if she was crying, but was really holding back her own laughter. But the oddest was Cheerilee.

She bit her hoof, glancing over at Words with a giggle. Then the dignity of being a teacher resurfaced and she coughed disapprovingly at Rainbow.

"Alright, you've said your naughty joke. Let's get some sleep. It's been a long day and we'll need a good rest if we plan on going up the mountain tomorrow."

They shuffled into the tent, mumbling good nights to each other. The night was completely silent, except for the occasional cough from the tent. Suddenly, there was a yelp.

"Which one of you _licked _my horn?"

…

Another bit of silly fun with Gilda and Words. I've been in a bit of funk, not really feeling the same drive to write until today, hence the lack luster posting from the last three days. Still, I feel good, I'm going to be off tomorrow, so I won't be so blah.

However, with the Texas Ren Fair coming up, I may miss a post or two in the coming weekends. I've been waiting all year to go, so I just want to give the heads up.

For the record, as it's not secret Words is suppose to be pony me, yes all the stories did happen to me when I was in Boy Scouts. Though I may have exaggerated just a little in one spot. I was only pink for about five minutes from the belly flop. And the plastic landed on my finger, not my head. And it was Sloppy Joe, not chili.

Other than that, all completely true. Scout's Honor.

Kyle


	9. Questions

Gilda soared high above the ground with her mended wing. _Nothing like the feel of wind ruffling your feathers. But the view's the best. The tops of the clouds, the wide open spaces, Words falling to his death... WORDS FALLING?_ The griffin dove after her friend, who was rather serenely sipping a cup of tea, and for some reason wearing a monocle.

"I say, what are you doing? This simply won't do, won't do at all!"

From the aether, he pulled out a top hat, mustache, and a spare monocle, slamming them down on the griffin's head. She was vaguely aware they were still falling, but even mortal danger doesn't stop a stare of utter shock. The unicorn nodded sagely.

"Indeed, can't have a spot of tea without the proper attire, eh, wot?"

"Er, Wiz, you know we're falling right?"

"Yes, milady, falling indeed. Falling madly in love with each other. Now, take me, and enjoy the best of both worlds!"

The pony ripped off his fur, revealing a body much like Dash's. Gilda could only utter a flat "What", the ground only mere inches away. Gilda bolted upright just before the impact, as you always do in dreams. It was still the middle of the night, the four bodies made the tent rather stuffy.

Stepping out of the tent, the griffin wandered over to the river. She dunked her face in to try and calm down. _Well, THAT'S one of the weirdest dreams I've had in a while. Except for the one about the little kangaroo climbing into the cow's stomach. I am never eating chocolate dipped pickled beets again. Pinkie can just deal with not having a taste tester for her... inventions._

The moon was full, and in the cloudless sky, Gilda could see the entirety of the heavens. She started looking for familiar constellations, if only to see if she could even remember any. _Let's see... there's the World Serpent, and the Raven Twins, and... a-ha!_

"Bloodbeak's Talons!"

"Which one is that?"

Gilda jumped, as Words had snuck up on her to whisper in her ear. _The more he does that little smirking grin, it gets harder and harder to resist either __hitting or hugging him._ Pointing up, she tried to outline the stars for him. Her cheek pressed against his to make sure they were lined up right.

"Ok, it's to the right of where the moon is, then you go down about a third of the way to the horizon, and squint a bit. They're really faint, but there's a reason why he's called Bloodbeak. His talons were very thin, and would break easily. See? The stars are where the holes in the sky would be if you would reach out and poke your open claws in."

"Ah, alright, I see it now. I never knew about that formation, but I guess it's a Griffin thing isn't it?"

Shifting away, she nodded and rubbed her cheek without thinking. The night air felt so much colder after the sharing of warmth. Words let his attention turn to the moon itself, reflecting in his eyes from where she sat.

"Hey Wiz, I don't know if it's worth mentioning, but something's been itching the back of my mind. You've been talking... normally lately. You know, less fortune cookie stuff. You haven't given me any life advice in a while, which is starting to scare me."

The unicorn grunted, and then the sentence sank in. He shrugged, and continued to look at the celestial orb.

"Well, I'm normal under it all. A lot of ponies say I'm laid back, relaxed. Really, I'm just too lazy to be mad if my opinion counts for much. Life's stressful as it is, why let it bother you? I know I talk like a guru every now and then, but really that's just because I try not to get involved with a lot of things. It's real easy to see the answers from the outside of a situation, you know? Besides, I use it largely to make ponies feel better, or griffins in your case. Do you honestly NEED more life advice? You seem like things have been pretty good, what with all of us hanging out lately."

Gilda gave a small snort of amusement. _I knew it, he went right back into it, a little, when questioned. At least he __admits__ it's partially an act__, but__ once again, __he's__ right. I don't need to be lead by the __beak__ through all this. It's not smooth sailing, but at least __there've__ been no __icebergs.__ Dash is closer to me than ever, Cheerilee and I are on good terms__,__ and as for you Wiz..._

"Wiz, I gotta ask you a few more things. Just because I'd hate to, you know, obsess over it. Do you mind?"

The unicorn tore his gaze from the moon, patting the griffin's head.

"Sure, ask away. Though I think by now you guys know everything but the size of my..." He laughed at the flustered blush spreading across her cheeks. "Ok, Cheerilee knows that. But if you want to kno-"

Gilda clamped her hands over the stallion's mouth, eyes screwed shut as she tried to keep her mind off of it.

"Wiz, let me ask what I need to know before you start joking like that ok?"

He nodded, and sat waiting for her to speak. She took a deep breath, trying to organize her thoughts into actual questions.

"Let's see, for starters, what do you like about Cheerilee as a, what do you guys call it again... fillyfriend?"

"You got it in one. What do I like about her? Well, she's very patient, willing to put up with my little jokes. She's funny, intelligent goes without saying, cooks very well... But I think the thing I like most is how open she is towards me, just like how we are. Thank you for that by the way. She really tries not to hide anything from me anymore, and I love that sort of openness."

Gilda blushed a bit at the thanks. _Just like us? Sappy dweeb, slipping in a compliment like that. I should... No, hold on. I still have to ask more._

"What made you want to help me so much? I was a major jerk to you, why bother?"

Words gestured up to the moon, which confused Gilda.

"Do you know the story of Princess Luna and her transformation into Nightmare Moon? A thousand years ago, the Princess of the Night worked very hard to craft the night into a glorious work of art. She put the stars in the heavens, the brightly shining moon, even the astral tears that are meteor showers.

But in those early days, ponies had to work very hard in the day, so they slept most of the night away. Without the sun, there was simply too little light to bother with anything. Lamps and fireplaces and such would give us the light we needed, but only so we could look at the ground. Look up at the sky the next time you're on ground level in a city. You'll only see an infinitely tiny fraction of the glory she made for us.

Her sister was busy with ruling the land, and being a royal meant nopony dared do anything beyond the basic chores for her, not wishing to anger her. She had no one to talk to, to vent the frustration of it all. I've had many ponies ignore a story I had put so much work into, and Dash does her tricks for attention as well. Imagine the crippling loneliness of having the most beautiful art ever created utterly ignored.

That pain and her growing jealousy of her sister, who the ponies of the land waiting eagerly to hear speak, pushed her over. She sought to bring about eternal night, and Princess Celestia was forced to imprison her sister, no, by then Nightmare Moon not Luna, in the moon.

For a thousand years, the Mare in the Moon watched us from that floating rock. A thousand years alone, without the voice of another pony, or the simple touch of a welcome embrace. Dash and her friends could tell you the exact details of what happened to let Luna become Luna again. But you know what a simple part of it was?"

On reflex, the griffin shook her head.

"While the Elements of Harmony removed the magical enhancements, it was the love and attention from her sister that allowed Luna full control of her body once more. Or so I like to think. I was out of town, so I missed meeting her in the flesh, but I digress.

I helped you because, when someone is hurting, they need someone to at least LISTEN. To be denied is to risk spiraling down a path of self-destruction and woe. Something as simple as just talking to them can save a life, or prevent a huge mistake. So when I saw you, crying, trying to dress your own wounds of the heart, I had to step in. Because alone, you would have only broken it further."

Gilda was silent for a long time, and the unicorn returned his gaze to the moon.

"If only someone had been there, a thousand years of pain for everyone would have been prevented. For her, for her sister, for Equestria itself. Nopony, er you know what I mean, should ever have their existence ignored that way. But I've rambled on long enough. I think we better go back to bed."

Words moved to head back, but Gilda grabbed his tail.

"Hold on, I still have another question for you."

The unicorn smiled faintly, tired not upset by the prolonged consciousness.

"Fire away."

The griffin fidgeted for a moment, unsure if the mood was right after all that for this sort of thing. Her own curiosity got the better of her.

"Well, how serious do you think Dash was about the whole partner swapping thing?"

Words raised an eyebrow, but didn't show any sign of thinking it was a joke.

"I thought she was doing the guy thing, tossing a joke out, but meaning it too. You know, flirting, but with no real chance for rejection?"

The griffin nodded, and Words clicked his tongue.

"Then I'd say she was about 120% serious about it. Are you thinking of taking the offer up? I'm flattered, and you're lovely, for a griffin, but I couldn't do it. You're my dearest friend Gilda, doing something like that would be too much."

Gilda looked up at the moon, letting a little sigh hiss out. _Mare in the Moon huh? All because she didn't have her own words of wisdom to guide her along._

"I know. I just... wanted to hear it again. Mind just one more question?"

"Alright, but let's seriously go back after this."

"Since you mentioned it... how big is your... you know..."

"Smaller than I wish it could be, but big enough to do the job. You helped out a lot with it."

The griffin nodded, then did a double take, face crimson.

"How did I help with that!"

"The quill you gave me has a bigger tip, so I could cut it finer. My writing had really improved thanks to it, Cheerilee used to have a hard time telling some of the letters apart. You helped me start writing in a larger print. What did you think I meant?"

Gilda sputtered as the unicorn walked back to the tent, chuckling to himself. She ran to catch up, and behind them, the moon hung in its full glory, lighting their way back to their loved ones.

…

I almost didn't write today. I wouldn't call it burnout, but I just couldn't kick myself into gear to do anything. And then this happened in an hour and a half. So all's well that ends well.

On a side not, my trip to Ren Fest was fun, though we ended up spending half our cash funds right at the front gate. 25 bucks a person entry fee! At least the food was pretty good. But somehow, I don't think Greek Noodles should taste like stir-fry...

Anyway, to everyone who continues to read/favorite/put on alert me and my stories, thank you very much. I do think partly for myself, but largely because I love hearing from you guys. If I don't get around to replying to you, don't be afraid to message me directly if you want to hear from me.

Love and Tolerance, Kyle


	10. Worth the Weight

The morning came all too quickly for Gilda, who struggled to even open her eyes. Sitting up in the tent, she saw she was alone. Judging from the sound of movement outside, the others were packing up so they could get started on the hike. It was warm and slightly stuffy in the tent, it drained any desire to move, so she lay basking in the sunlight that filtered through. _I've been__ getting lazy ever since my wing broke. Normally I'd be up with the dawn and doing some warm up drills. __At__ this rate I'll gain... Wait a minute..._

Gilda grabbed her stomach, a look of horror spreading over her face. _I can grab my stomach! I... I'm getting FAT! Oh by my __father's__ talons, how'd I let this happen? _She curled into the fetal position out of panic, grabbing her stomach with both claws. _I can't be getting fat. I can't! That ruins EVERYTHING. I won't be able to fly, and what about Dash? She wouldn't want some overstuffed turkey for her partner..._

At that moment, Words stuck his head into the tent.

"Hey, wakey wakey sleepy head. We're getting ready to go, so get out, eat your breakfast and be ready for our little... hike."

` They made eye contact for a moment, her grip still on the loose flesh. He smiled sheepishly, and nodded his head back towards the outside. He mouthed "We'll talk later." and withdrew. Gilda sighed, and stepped out into the pure sunlight. She looked at the food set aside for her. Though her stomach rumbled, she didn't eat. _I can't eat this pony food any more__;__ I'm not burning the calories. _

The camp was packed shortly thereafter, and the hike to the mountain top began. It was a beautiful day, the early autumn weather pleasantly cool yet not enough to warrant even so much as a scarf. Dash set the pace, encouraging the others to keep up with her jog. The path was slightly steep, corkscrewing its way up the mountain-side, but it was free of any debris that could cause a falling hazard, so she could afford to turn and check up on the others mid-run.

"Come on; if we want to get there and back home before nightfall, we're gonna have to hustle! Gilda, Words holding up back there? You two are pulling up the rear."

Gilda had barely noticed she'd drifted to the back, and nodded to the pegasus. She found herself just looking down to her stomach and chest rather than the path. _I can't tell if it's just my feathers or if I'm actually... jiggly._ Lost in thought, she drifted to the side, bumping into the unicorn.

"Sorry."

No reply came, which was not what she'd come to expect from the stallion. Gilda watched him struggle to keep the pace that even the teacher managed comfortably. Now that she actually saw him in motion, the solid appearance of stillness gave way to a heaving chest and bouncing stomach. _Was he always this way? _She looked away, not wanting to embarrass him by being caught watching.

Around a third of the way up, Words was looking worse for wear. He was drenched in sweat, chest heaving like bellows as his tongue lolled out of his mouth. Cheerilee and Gilda exchanged looks of concern, and yelled at Dash to stop. The group slowed to a halt, and Words shifted through a backpack for a canteen. He handed it to Gilda first, who just stared at him.

"Dude, drink up. You look terrible..."

He opened his mouth to speak, when a deep cough ripped through him. A thick wad of phlegm landed in the dust, but more worrisome were the wheezing gasps that followed. He plopped down as the last few shook his frame, smiling sheepishly as the dust and sand attached to his hide.

"No, you guys drink up first. That way I can finish off the canteen."

Cheerilee bit her lip, but took the canteen, taking a quick swig before passing it to Dash who did the same. Gilda did little more than wet her beak before handing it back to the unicorn. Upending the container, the water barely moistened his lips before disappearing down his throat. He coughed, spraying a mouthful across the path. The teacher gasped.

"Words, are you sure you're alright? You handled the run yesterday just fine!"

He waved it off, taking long deep breathes. He stared out over the view they had from even here, the girls following his gaze. It was very pretty, even only this far up. The trees were just beginning to turn, a sea of reds and oranges laid out across the land. Gilda was happy to see things with the bird's eye view once more.

She looked at Words, who despite having calmed down was still breathing somewhat heavily. She looked at Cheerilee, who also was beginning to show signs of her dipping energy, but nowhere near the sheer exhaustion Words radiated.

"Dash, you think it might be the lack of air?"

The pegasus shook her head.

"No, we're not high enough for that. Air pressure doesn't really start falling off until eight thousand feet. This mountain is only about nine, and we're at about three thousand right now. Words, you aren't asthmatic or something are ya?"

The unicorn shook his head, and got up from the ground. He was somewhat wobbly, but he started to walk up the path, slowly building up to the jog once more. The girls ran after him, wondering what in the world he was thinking. Cheerilee caught up, and tried to speak, but he didn't seem to listen to her. His focus was completely on running up the mountain, and so they formed around him, just making sure he didn't run off the side.

Two-thirds of the way up, they finally got him to stop for lunch. Gilda took a drink of water, and nibbled a bit of an energy bar, but largely she skipped this meal as well. Words was about to dig in himself, when he got up and started pacing instead, Dash and Cheerilee watched the pair with a confused look.

"Aren't you two going to eat something?"

Gilda shook her head, patting her stomach with a slightly strained grin. _I'll just try and burn off the fat. Eating something now would just make the problem last longer._

"Oh, I'm still full from breakfast, I'll be fine."

Words grunted and once they started hiking again, he took off, running as if demons were chasing him. The cloud of dust this kicked up made the girls cough and it stuck to their own damp hair. Cheerilee was the first to bolt after, while Dash and Gilda tried to gather the pack he'd left behind.

"What's gotten into Wiz? He's never acted like this before. He's barely talking! Words without words is like... you without your rainbow, Dash."

"I don't know what's got into him, but if he keeps this up, I'm gonna pop him one. Let's get running, they've got a head start on us. I'd fly up and cut him off, but with your wing like that still, it'd be best for us to go in pairs."

Gilda nodded in agreement, though her gut told her otherwise. _I don't know Dash, something about all this is freaking me out. He's acting like a completely different pony ever since this morning when he woke me up._

They reached the summit of the low mountain, and were shocked to see Words... exercising, while Cheerilee sat to the side staring in confused shock. She noticed the others arrive and walked over, shaking her head.

"I just don't understand what has gotten into him! I even tried the voice I use when handing out a detention slip, which ALWAYS works on troublesome young colts. He just started doing pushups!"

They looked over at him doing crunches, a heavy grunt punctuating each rep. They would have tried to physically stop him but it was an exercise in futility to stop his workout. Even with them all piled on his back, wasn't slowed. He barely slowed his efforts under the extra weight.

The sun began to set, so the girls just set up camp on the mountain top. Water boiled in the coffee pot, morale was at its lowest from having to eat instant noodles two nights in a row on top of Words' insanity. Dash slurped her soup angrily.

"This is just not cool. When did he turn into such a jerk?"

Cheerilee blew the steam from hers, the mountain air turning quite chilly.

"He's been at it all day, and the air's so thin here too! He should have passed out ages ago, if only from lack of oxygen. What could possibly be driving him? And Gilda, you still aren't hungry?"

"No, guess breakfast was pretty long lasting fuel for me today, heh."

The griffin's stomach rumbled loudly in the still air. She would have been embarrassed, but a sudden scream of frustration took their attention elsewhere. Words had reared up, bellowing at the low hanging moon. He fell over backwards, hard.

The trio ran over, to find him weeping. He was filthy, sweat and dust were caked all over his fur. His tendons writhed under his flesh like snakes, the strain of use catching up. Dash shook him, trying to get something out of him. Gilda could only watch in stunned silence, the sight of the blubbering unicorn for some reason more disturbing than even the story he had written.

It was all too much for Cheerilee, who gave him a hoof to the jaw, a look of calm fury acoss her features. The unicorn whimpered, but otherwise got a hold of himself. The other two stared at her, worried another member of their group had gone crazy. The earth pony snorted in annoyance.

"Words O'Wisdom! You have made a foal of yourself, and have caused us to be worried sick about you. Live up to your name and enlighten us to what is wrong so we can help you for once, instead of the other way around!"

Words looked at the three, and hid his face in shame.

"I... I'm fat."

Silence prevailed with only confused looks being passed between the girls. He wiped his nose, but fresh mucus ran down it anyway.

"I'm fat, chunky, overweight, big boned, husky, healthy, fluffy, pleasantly plump. You name it, and I've been called it. It's just soft language. Trust me, if anypony knows what soft language is, it's me. I use it every time I try to comfort someone else, to help gently guide them. I try, so very hard, to always help anypony... anyone in need.

But what about self-imagery? What about, when someone thinks they aren't pretty anymore because they gained a few pounds? I have nothing for them! Who wants to listen to someone bigger than them talk about diet and exercise? It wouldn't make sense. And when I saw Gilda worrying about her own weight, I couldn't think of anything to honestly tell her.

So I tried to become someone who could. I ran, I skipped meals like she did; I've been doing everything to try and burn as much fat as I possibly could. Besides, it's not fair to you guys. I'm so slow you have to wait while I snail my way along. I cook way too much food for you guys to eat that you feel sick. And Cheerilee, you deserve a partner as handsome as you are pretty ."

The unicorn began having a fit of coughs, strangling the sobs that followed. Gilda remembered the phrase Nurse Redheart had used to explain why Big Macintosh had become so violent. _Cutie Mark Failure Insanity Syndrome. _The griffin felt like she'd just swallowed a lump of iron. _He__ ran himself half to death, because he had no words for me._

Gilda walked over to the campfire, and poured some of the warm water onto a rag. Taking it over, she handed it to the unicorn, who stared up at her with a lost expression. He cleaned his face thoroughly, muttering a thank you. _Well, you dweeb, you did the same for me once._

Words and Cheerilee went off to the side to talk, leaving Gilda staring into the fire. Dash sat down next to her, nuzzling the feathers at the base of her neck.

"It's not your fault. It happens to all of us at one point or another. Cheerilee will have him back to normal after some kind words and ego building. So, you've been worrying about your weight?"

The griffin tucked her head under her good wing to hide her shame. Dash blew on the back of her neck to ruffle the down.

"Well, I think you look just as awesome as ever. Besides, once we get that cast off, you're going to work every ounce off in rehab. I love you for you, not because you have a rocking body. Which you do, but that's secondary."

Gilda gave a weak laugh, coming out far enough to show her eye.

"It's moments like this that remind me why we're each others' firsts. No one else would stand us."

The winged lovers nuzzled, and looked out over the moonlit landscape. In a distant lake, the moon reflected perfectly in the serene stillness.

…

I would have gone on a bit longer, but I really am trying to shift the story back around to being Gilda centric, rather than Words. I love writing him, but I loathe the idea of turning Gilda's story into just a vehicle for my own OC. I don't know if I ever explicitly mentioned it, but Words is suppose to be fairly large both in height and weight. I have his picture on my profile, but pony creator just isn't able to give stout forms justice.

Kyle


	11. Nightmare Night

Time passed, and the events of the camping trip became nothing more than a bad memory. Gilda stood stock still as the Earth pony nurse cut away the cast on her wing. After all this time, she could hardly believe her grounding was finally nearing its end.

"Alrighty, one last snip annnnnd done! There you go Gilda, it's off. Now, I don't want you flying around until we get it back to full strength. For right now, let's just focus on getting the muscles limber again. Try extending your wing."

Nurse Redheart watched the griffin slowly reach her finally healed limb out to its limits. She asked for her to rotate it, move it up and down, and move it in every possible way. Gilda tried not to let the burning ache of disuse get to her. She was simply too happy to simply be free of the restraints.

"Ok, everything seems alright. You can go home now, just keep working them until it doesn't hurt to just move it. Worry about flight later, and I mean it! I can't tell you how many pegasi have bolted out of here flapping only to have to come back with torn tendons or limp ligaments."

Gilda nodded and walked out into the waiting room. Inside the sparse white room, Words and Rainbow Dash were doing the crossword. Well, Words was, Dash was simply so bored she was just reading over his shoulder. The pair looked up at her when the door slammed behind her. Dash tackled her, hugging her around the neck.

"Whoa, Dash. Careful about how rough you are. Redheart really stressed taking it easy. And... why are you wearing that?"

The pegasus was in her Shadowbolt costume, and she puffed her chest out in pride.

"Like it? It was rough trying to sew it myself, but I think it was worth it. Looks awesome doesn't it?"

Gilda chuckled to herself, walking around Dash a few times. It wasn't the best outfit in the wold, but she couldn't deny the definite appeal to the dark costume. _Right, it's Nightmare Night tonight, almost forgot in all the excitement. So this is the special outfit she's been bragging about this whole time._

"I still don't know what to think about the whole fake evil Wonderbolts thing, but at least it looks like what you wanted. But..."

"But what? Come on, you can't possibly complain about this, I'm the only one who knows what they even look like besides Princess Luna!"

The griffin gave a small peck on the cheek to calm the quickly aggravated pony.

"But I think you'll look 20% cooler when you finally get to put on the real deal someday. Blue suits you a lot better anyway."

Dash blushed deeply, though the mask hid the worst of it. Pride told her to speak up, maybe poke fun at how the griffin was showing unusually frilly attention to color. But this was pushed aside as the unicorn coughed politely at their side.

"Um, let's head back to my house. I've got my own costume to put on before it gets dark. And Gilda, I really would like your help with it. Besides, I think I found something for you to try on yourself."

The group walked to Words' home, though Dash didn't stay long enough to see what the costumes were. She had to go find the perfect little cloud before the festivities began. Gilda clicked her beak, already frustrated that even with the healed wing, she's going to miss out on some awesome pranks. The sound of cloth being shifted around tore her attention from the sky though.

Behind her, Words was beating the wrinkles out of what looked like a misshapen blanket. However, once her got some air into it, it was clear it was actually the back half of a pony.

"What is that suppose to be? Don't tell me you skinned some innocent pony. Wiz, that's brutal..."

Words rolled his eyes and tossed the outfit in her face.

"Just try it on. If it doesn't fit, we'll see if Miss Rarity can give you some quick adjustments."

Confused by the choice, but curious as to why, she donned the fake flank. A draw-string on the inside let it be tightened to fit snugly. It covered the entirety of her lion half, and there was even a hole for her tail to go in, filling out the pony tail. She gave an experimental twitch, and it looked just like a normal pony's would.

"Well, OK. Where's the other half of this get-up then?"

Words was busy trying to get a pair of false wings on his back. Looking up for a second, he shook his head and immediately went back to adjusting his own straps.

"What do you mean? That's the whole thing right there. Now you look like a Hippogriff. You know, what happens when a boy griffin falls for a mare?"

"Your big costume idea is to make me look like a half-breed?"

"No. My big costume idea is to make US look like half-breeds."

Words turned to face her, a large plastic beak covering his mouth. It had taken some effort to hide his horn, but a few long feathers to mimic Gilda's own style did the job quite nicely. The costume was snug around his chest, but otherwise everything fit seamlessly. Gilda's jaw hung slack.

_No. Nonono. This has got to be wrong. Why does he look like that? It's just a stupid fake beak and yet it makes my stomach churn just to look at him! I'd bet my right wing that's how'd he'd look today if he..._

"Take it off!"

The unicorn stopped to stare at her. She looked on the verge of tears, so he silently removed the mask.

"Gilda, everything alright?"

She shook her head, feathers sticking out at awkward angles. _No, it's not alright. Not while your face looks like that. I can't see that face again, it'd be too much._

"Just... take it off Words. Please, I know it's short notice, but wear something, anything besides that."

"Well, I was tossing around the idea of a Forest based Alicorn, compliment my green hair but-"

Gilda bolted outside, yelling something about getting sticks and leaves to help. Words put the beak back over his face, wondering what in the world could have set her off like that.

"Maybe I look too much like her father? Girls like her tend to have daddy issues of one kind or another... I'll ask her when the time is right."

By the time he'd struggled out of the tight costume and pulled the last of the feathers of his horn, she'd come back with a little red wagon full of ivy and leaves. Before he could thank her, she started tossing them on him, using glue and tape where it wouldn't just stick into his fur. He sputtered, somehow ending up with a talonful of paste and leaves slapped across his mouth.

"Gilda... Gilda. GILDA."

The words dropped like lead slabs on marble. She stepped back, grinning sheepishly at him. The unicorn did look like an Alicorn now, though one that had crash landed in a compost heap. She tried her best, but laughter poured out of her at the ridiculous sight. Words flicked his tail, frustrated that all his hard work into that other costume was moot and now this. He sighed, and looked at himself in the mirror.

"Well, I suppose it will have to do. I'll admit, some of the leaves and flowers work fairly well. Look kinda familiar though... Ah, now I remember. Poison Joke. I really should have noticed sooner, I'm allergic to the stuff. Funny how you never notice this sort of thing until the last second."

There was a moment of utter silence, as Words turned his head slowly to face the griffin. His face was in a strained smile, lips pursed close and eyes wide. The griffin mumbled an apology, as the unicorn ripped the costume away, yelling in a panic. He scrubbed at his tongue with a hoof, but it was all in vain. The poison hit him hard and fast, and suddenly, you could barely tell it was the same pony. His form was smaller, less bulky and more toned more... curvy?

"Oh horseapples."

The voice was decidedly not Words'. It was much higher, almost sultry. He checked himself in the mirror once more, heaving a sigh. Gilda could hardly believe her eyes. _Oh this is too good. Dude looks like a lady!_ Gilda walked around the fretting stallion, and couldn't help but notice that, yes, he was still a stallion. _We better get something on him to hide that. There are kids running around._

Taking off the horse bottom, she handed them over to him. Words just shook his head, ignoring the light chuckles coming from the griffin.

"Well, at least nopony would ever guess this is me. Let's go visit Nurse Redheart again. Zecora gave her a batch of the antidote for anypony who got into a patch of those darn things. You'll need some too, before it afflicts you. Put on the fake beak and feather mask. If I have to run around dressed as myself, you will too."

Gilda smirked as they walked down the street, enjoying seeing him blush in embarrassment as a few of the bolder stallions complimented the pretty mare on her... interesting choice of costume. Words politely sidestepped any conversation, until they came across a certain baby dragon.

"Hey Gilda, who's your friend? Great minds think alike for costumes huh? I'ma dragon, she's a pony, and you're a griffin."

The griffin rolled her eyes, and smirked at the looked of strained politeness on Wiz's face. _You'd think Spike would be glued to Twilight's side. Guess she's off with Trixie or something. Hmm, let's tease Words some more though._

"Hey, Spike, tell me, you recognize my friend here at all?I think you should, you guys have worked together before."

Spike looked the pony over, thinking for a minute before finally shrugging.

" Eh, can't say I do. She's pretty cute, but nothing compared to Rarity though. I think I'd remember that face."

Gilda squawked a laugh, as Words grit his teeth. Stomping a hoof, Words put his face in front of Spike's. It took a moment, but seeing as his eyes stayed the same, it only took a moment for the baby dragon to realize who it really was. A broad grin broke out over the juvenile's face.

"Don't tell me. Poison Joke? Give me a second, give me a second...ah! I got it! Curves O'Women!"

The duo left the chuckling dragon, Words now all but running for the Nurse. They finally reached the First Aid station. A quick explanation, and the Nurse set about filling a tub with water for them to wash the joke away. Nearby, a moan came from a covered cot.

"Ugh... Remind Trixie why she ever agreed to a candy eating contest?"

A deep chuckle preceded a dark stallion with a white top hat stepped out from behind the curtain.

"You just settle that stuffed stomach, you silly showpony. Nurse Redheart, thank you for everything. Poor girl still lets her ego get the better of her. And what's this? Such a Shapely Sweetie stands before this sagely stallion. Pray tell, what's your name, Sugarcube?"

Gilda just gave up on any sense of dignity and respect and just collapsed into a laughing heap. Words jumped into the half filled tub, emerging in his real body. The old stallion's jaw dropped, then he applauded.

"That, lad, is one amazing trick! Now tell me... where'd the filly go? You can trust me, I am White Hat, Master of Magic. Your secrets would be safe with me."

Words merely grabbed a loofah and tried to scrub the stares away. The magician looked to Gilda, who gave a small shrug. Slipping into the bath as well, she prevented her own joke's formation. Words struggled out of the pony pants and tossed them aside. White Hat stared at the wet cloth in shock.

"Boy scrubbed his hide right off!"

…

Sorry for missing things the last few days. Working nights, a bit of a mental funk, and just plan not knowing what to write make for the worst slump my updating has seen yet. I was going to update more stories today, but I think two a day is my limit creatively. Besides, I can't think of anything for the others at the moment anyway.

I think this puts Gilda chronologically furthest along. This also explains quite nicely why none of my characters showed up in the episode, which I'll admit, I loved. I was worried my expectations from liking Progress would make it too weird, but ultimately they were pretty spot on. Though using THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE was certainly an unexpected surprise, and I'm glad she learned to not use it.

Expect a look at Tia learning the same lesson.

Kyle


	12. Nightmare Night Double Feature

Words O'Wisdom frowned to himself as he looked at his mail table. He had let life caught him off guard lately, and with Nightmare Night largely ruined thanks to the Poison Joke, he decided to just stay home and catch up. Letters from dedicated fans lay unanswered, and frankly this left him quite displeased with himself.

In a rare moment of organization, he divided them based on the sender, then the date sent. There were the piles of familiar names and penmanship, but to his pleasant surprise there was a boom of new readers. While they weren't as eager to discuss his work, merely knowing they wished to be added to his sending list was encouragement enough.

"Well! This is quite the news to come to. And I haven't written in ages, so these poor souls must think I've gone off and died somewhere. And answering everything individually would take me well into tomorrow afternoon. I'd hate to be lazy... but perhaps I know a solution that will both placate their desire for stories as well as let them know what has been distracting me so much lately."

Words dipped his quill into the inkwell, and began to write out his message. Several times, he caught himself doodling rather than writing. This forced him to start over again, much to his annoyance. _Come on, Wiz, concentrate here._

There was a knock at the door, and the unicorn heaved a sigh. Getting up from the table, he saw a group of young fillies dressed up, still treat seeking despite the time. Pinkie Pie squawked loudly, holding up her own bag. Words smiled sheepishly at the children.

"Oh dear, I'm sorry kids. I was expecting to be out this evening, so I never stocked up."

Crestfallen, the costumed children turned to leave. It would have been better if they had bothered to get a little mad. The look of disappointment cleaved through the writer.

"Wait! I have no candy for you... but what if I offered another treat instead? Two in fact, if you're willing to wait. Have you ever heard the tale of..."

The group gave him stares as he thought blankly for a moment. _Um.. come on, think of something, anything to tell them. Stories are you talent for Celestia's sake!_

"Of the Cursed Horn? Also, cookies"

The group went inside, more excited by the offer of fresh cookies than anything. Heaving a tired sigh, he closed the door. He shepherded them into the kitchen, where they all made themselves comfortable as he broke out the bowls and materials. Gathering the dry ingredients, he fumbled into an introduction.

"This story began a long, long time ago, before my father, or his father, or his father before that was born in fact. Now, as you can see, Unicorn horns are very sharp, aren't they? Well, some, mostly boys, anyway. Do you know why this is?"

"Sexual dimorphism?"

"What are you, a dictionary? What does that even mean?"

"Yeah, where'd you learn fancy words like that Sweetie Belle?"

Words coughed, channeling some of the teacher's essence that had rubbed off of Cheerilee. The girls fell silent, thankfully not reaching anything physical in the stallion's kitchen.

"Well, it means the physical traits that are different if you're a colt or a filly. Stallions have more angular faces, plainer manes, increased body mass and strength. Mares are more lithe er, thinner, smaller, prettier, and in general more delicate. Now, I know plenty of strong mares, and tons of delicate stallions. I myself count more towards that description despite my size, as I earn my living from writing and..."

A few snores kicked him out of the lecture. _Ooops. Went teacher mode there. Cheerilee would be proud at least._ He turned the crank mixer quickly with his magic, the sudden buzz startling the sleepers back awake.

"Earth ponies are strong, and pegasi are fast. Unicorn magic IS useful, but not as much as some ponies think. It lets us move small things, but only extremely talented users like Twilight Sparkle can do anything truly impressive. Our horns are really important to us because they show how er.. grown up we are. Like Earth pony muscle and Pegasus wings, a big sharp horn is a desired look.

Well, once upon a time there was a unicorn by the name of Green Horn. He was a healthy stallion, with his brown fur and green mane all thick and shining..."

"Wait, brown and green? That's you!"

"Any resemblance of ponies living or dead is purely coincidental. Now, continuing on, he was the model of healthy unicorn males, except for one problem: his little, green, nub of a horn. He could pass for an Earth pony as long as he did not share his name, because it was small enough to just hide in his mane.

Now, while he was out traveling, Green Horn came across a beautiful filly who was fighting for her life. A squid had attacked her when she had came to the water to drink. The tentacles wrapped around her legs, and the beast's strength was too much for her to run away.

Green Horn ran in, headbutting the creature in the eye. Though it was small, his horn blinded it with pain, and it retreated to the water. The mare tackled him to the ground in an embrace.

"You saved me! Oh, thank you so much! Tell me your name, and I'll marry you. My father owns a very wealthy farm, so you'll never be for want of food or bits!"

Greed overwhelmed his judgment, and without thinking, he said:

"I'm Green Horn, and of course I'll marry you!"

The mare looked at him, then ran a hoof through his mane. She felt the small nub, and broke into a laugh.

"Wait, you're a unicorn? With that little thing?"

Her laughter echoed in his ears as he ran away, tears streaming in his eyes. Farther down the road, he came across another mare, this time trapped under a flipped cart. Her pleas for help were very quiet, and she was losing strength quickly. Green Horn used his magic to help lift the cart, and he bucked it the rest of the way off. This time, it was a pegasus mare. She too embraced her savior.

"Oh thank Celestia! Marry me, and I'll make all your days sunny and bright. We'll live together in my cloud home, and..."

"But I'm a unicorn."

The pegasus, who was largely blinded by the sunlight after being trapped under the cart in darkness, blinked owlishly. She smirked at him.

"Oh, you're not a pegasus. But you don't have to lie and say you're a unicorn if you're just an Earth pony."

She flew off, still laughing as he stomped angrily down the road once more. Twice in one day, he had been mocked. He grumbled loudly.

"Why can't I have a good horn? One big and sharp, so every pony knows what I am?"

Then a voice came, gently on the wind.

"_I can help with that... but I'll require payment...many times..._"

Green Horn was young, and brash. He didn't think to question the voice.

"If you can really make my wish come true, I'll do anything for you!"

_"Then we have an Agreement. Here is your horn... I'll take my payments later."_

And like that, the wind stopped. Green Horn yelled in pain, as it felt like something was tugging on his horn viciously. Then all at once, the pain stopped, leaving him sweating and gasping. Crawling to a puddle, he saw in his reflection his horn was long, sharp, and now deep red. He grinned at the image.

"Wow, it's so... powerful looking. I guess I can't be Green Horn any more. I'll need a strong name... Blood Horn! No one will laugh at me now. Nopony shall ever mistake me for anything but a unicorn again!"

Well, Blood Horn walked down the road to find a third mare, a unicorn who was stuck in a tree. When he helped her, once again he was offered marriage, and he accepted. The couple lived together for years. But, for some reason, Blood Horn would not age. He looked as young as he ever did, while his brides, for he had many over the years, would suddenly leave one night.

Young Fillies too, often disappeared whenever he went into town, though none were ever found to be with him. That is... until one night, somepony saw him walk out into the woods at night, a bundle across his back.

Following, they saw him pile stones into a circle, and unwrap the bundle. Out fell a gorgeous mare, his wife of several years. Oh, Pinkie, can you help me get these cookies out?"

Pinkie walked around the counter to help Words with the oven. He coughed and ducked out of sight with her as he continued telling the story.

"Blood Horn rammed his horn into the side of the mare, coating his face in blood. His voice rang out in the clearing.

"Oh master! Tonight, I offer you payment once more! Let me keep my horn and my youth! Instead, I offer this feast..."

Around the stones, shadows gathered, shape without form, straining to reach beyond the realms of blackness. The watching pony ran away before he could see Blood Horn's payment completed, but the Master only feasted twice. Now... are you hungry?"

"Words" rose from the counter, red liquid covering his horn and face completely. Pinkie's body followed and was laid across the table, to the horror of the fillies. A bright red spot glistened on her side.

"I asked... are you hungry, Master?"

A wide grin broke across Words face, and he laughed deeply, using his magic to cause a few things to fly around the room. The children hid under the table, cowering together. Then they noticed Pinkie's giggles mixing with the stallion's, and the realization hit them. Apple Bloom huffed.

"They're jest playing us fer foals!"

Words chuckled as he lowered down a plate of chocolate chip oatmeal cookies to the group. Red ink dripped from his face, and he took the ink off Pinkie's costume. He would have done it with Gilda and the incident, but at that time he was too flustered to remember to.

"Well, I suppose the story wasn't that impressive, but I think this last bit was more Nightmare Night mode huh?"

He bid the treaters farewell, and shut the door. Exhausted, he looked over his writing. Between everything, he hadn't even gotten the first page written down. He could only shake his head sadly.

"I'm really sorry, but it looks like another day I'll have to miss it. I need some sleep..."

…

Sweet Celestia of Equestria, Kyle... updated?

Really sorry I've been an absolute mess about updating. I went to the Renaissance Festival yesterday, and I bought myself a full Quill set. Green quill, ink, and sealing wax, along with a rather nice inkwell and a K seal. #swag as they say.

That should also explain why no update until now. Work also has a solid grip on my life, but I'd just be repeating myself on all that.

But, amazingly, I have noticed a HUGE increase in people favoriting/alerting my stories. I want to say thank you very much for your supporting me! And to my regulars, I'm very sorry I'm not as good about replying to reviews lately. I'll do my best this round and in the future though!

TL;DR my poor attempt at a ghost/scary story twist, and in general news plus saying "I love you" to my readers.

Kyle


	13. Classroom Antics

Two figures were working their way up the dead streets of early morning Ponyville. One was a unicorn, jogging along next to a griffin, who more glided than flew next to him. Stopping to drink from the well, the unicorn turned to his companion.

"How... many... miles... is that?"

"Erm... one."

Words O'Wisdom groaned, dunking his sweaty head into the bucket. Gilda hovered at his side, performing her own exercises. Nurse Redheart had given them both routines, though for completely different reasons. Gilda needed to strengthen her long disused wing, while Words simply wished to come along for support. Or so he said.

_I think he's still hung up on the whole weight loss thing. He's been eating less, not nothing, just less. Then again, lately he's just sat around doing his writing if he wasn't eating. Maybe I should stay with him a bit longer, just to keep an eye on him._

There was an ominous rumbling, followed by a nervous chuckle. Gilda covered her eyes so she didn't have to look at the unicorn.

"Don't tell me, you didn't remember to each breakfast before we started."

"It's Four in the morning, I'm still half asleep as it is. Well, at least I'm motivated now. The sooner we finish, the sooner we can pop by my favorite diner and.."

Words fell silent under the stare Gilda was giving him.

"No...no diner?"

"I know the kind of stuff that place serves, you dragged me in there a month ago. Grits, pancakes, fried eggs you could use as tire patches. We, er, I can't eat that stuff. The grease and empty Cals? We're better just getting some solid protein."

Words whimpered as he slowly worked back up to a canter. _Foul temptress! Now I can't stop thinking about it. Maple syrup drizzled over the pancakes, a pat of butter melting on top. Toast, coated with jam and even more butter. OH stop brain! I'm hungry enough as it is. Let's just wrap this up and then we'll worry about food._

It was close to Six when they finally slowed back to a sedated walk. Gilda's wing ached, but in the lovely burn of a good work out rather than any real strain. Even slightly out of shape, she wasn't too far gone, and this pleased her immensely. _Aww yeah, weeks without so much as a quick lap and I'm still pretty much golden._ A thud tore her from the self-praise.

Words had tossed himself on a park bench, panting heavily. His lungs were on fire, and he felt like someone had run him over with a cart, backed up, and did it again twelve times. Then kicked him in the chest for good measure. Gilda poked him, and he flopped a leg.

"Get up you little drama queen. It wasn't that bad, and you kept the pace up the whole time. Though you did nearly skewer that mailbox..."

The unicorn groaned again, flopping on his side away from her. Again, his stomach rumbled a protest. Heaving a sigh, she leaned forward to whisper in his ear.

"Alright, I won't tell the nurse if you don't. Let's go get some breakfast."

He bolted upright, suddenly fresh as a daisy. Gilda couldn't help but notice her was actually moving faster now than he had been the entire jog. He made a beeline straight to the little diner, which was midway between the post office and Sugarcube Corner.

He all but kicked the door in, much to the bemusement of the cook. He wasn't a very tall Earth Pony, but the yellow stallion was round enough you'd think Celestia had left the sun behind after morning coffee. That is, if it weren't for the spatula cutie mark on each massive hip. Taking his apron off, the hefty stallion walked around the corner to greet one of his favorite regulars. They bumped hooves as he looked at the disheveled writer.

"Well, lookit chu. I've seen hogs sweat less, and smell better too. Boy, sit down at the counter. The usual will be right up. Grits, pancakes, eggs, toast, breakfast potatoes, and all the apple juice you can stomach."

Words nodded energetically with each item listened, wiping his mouth with the back of his hoof. Gilda coughed as she took a seat next to Words.

"Sorry Short Order, but you think you can hold off on giving him EVERYTHING he wants? We just finished a big jog and eating too much might ya know, make him sick."

Words looked as if she'd stabbed him. She nudged him, rolling her eyes at the dramatics. A sigh of defeat, and he settled for the pancakes and eggs. Gilda went for a fruit salad, more for taste than anything. _I'll get a bite of dried fish once I get home. Fluttershy is a savior._

As they ate, several other costumers came and went. Words listened to the gossip Short Order had to share. Ponies often talked when they ate, forgetting cooks and waiters have ears too.

"I got something you might be interested in Boy. What with winter coming along soon, the countdown is starting for that Apple stallion and his filly's wedding. Not that they've made a show of it, but I heard one of his friends talk about yesterday. That sort of thing always makes the mares a bit wistful for their own, ya know? What I'm getting at here is... how long are you and that teacher just gonna fool around?"

Words coughed, spraying a mouthful of apple juice across the cook's face. He managed to choke on air for a while, hacking and coughing. Gilda wiped the counter with some napkins as Short Order cleaned his face.

"You mean... marry Cheerilee! But, I'm too young for that sort of thing. I barely keep my own life organized, why should I burden her with that? I mean, we're still trying to, you know, just enjoy each other. We've only been a real couple for about half a year!"

Gilda was somewhat stunned. _Is..is WORDS making excuses? Alright, no more of this tar they call coffee for me. My head's obviously busted._

"Gilda, please, talk some sense into this madman! I'm not fit for such a thing."

She would have gone to her friend's defense, but, the more she thought on it, the more she couldn't agree more. _They already act like they've been together for years. And they both have stable jobs with decent income. But... maybe marriage is a bit much._

"Why not just move in together? Me and Dash did it more out of lack of funds than anything, yeah, but it wasn't that big. We've lived in each others houses at one point or another anyway, this time it was just more final. Maybe you two could, just to see if you can tolerate each other at home too."

Words bit his lip, thinking this over.

"That's... not a bad idea. It even sounds like something I'd come up with myself! Maybe all this house sharing has had each other rub off a bit. I think I know just how to ask her too. Thanks for the food, just put it on my tab. Right now, I got some purchases to make..."

Gilda didn't see him the rest of the day. Rainbow Dash had come over to Words' house to hang out with her, and help do a few more exercises. Afterward, she was kind enough to give Gilda a wing massage. The griffin moaned gratitude.

"Ohhh baby. Right there at the shoulder blade. Ahhh. I owe you so much, Dash. I doubt Redheart would know how to do this nearly as well as someone who actually has wings. Yes, right... hey! Hooves between the wings please."

"Yes, please. I don't think my, er our couch is where you two should be doing anything more than that."

Dash and Gilda yelped, the Griffin tumbling off the pony's lap onto the floor. They looked in the doorway to see Words and Cheerilee, who had an emerald necklace on that shone somewhat less brightly than her joyful smile. Gilda clapped, impressed.

"I see she accepted. What did you do?"

Cheerilee spoke before the unicorn could even open his mouth.

"Well, he barged into the classroom, carrying some roses and chocolates. It was sweet, but it was the middle of a lesson so I had to continue on. I put him in the dunce chair, when he took out a little black box. And he said... well you say it."

"Miss Cheerilee, I'm sorry I interrupted. If I give you this, can I get off this chair?"

Words put on the dopiest, cheesiest little puppy dog eyes Gilda had ever seen. Cheerilee laughed to see it again.

"Well, the entire class started begging me to let him off, so I did. Then he opens it up and THIS is inside."

The teacher puffed her chest out, to better display the gift. Words nodded as there was a whistle of approval.

"It's an heirloom, but I had to go get the gem reset, and the chain needed repairs as well. It might have been cheaper to just buy a new one, but I thought, perhaps, sentimental value would be more precious."

"Well, he told me I could have it on one condition, but that it would wait until after class. He told a little story to the children as I graded papers until the bell rang. With all the lovey dovey, as Snails put it, I knew the class wouldn't focus on work any longer.

Then, as the last students files out, he said... come on, one more time."

Words bowed his head blushing. He mumbled something about not in front of the girls, but Cheerilee pushed him into a repeat performance.

"Cheerilee, I don't know many things. Why there is pain in the world. What am I going to do with my life as I get older. When will I be truly content with life. Who will remember my name when my time here finally ends. Where can I find happiness.

But I know, around you, the world seems brighter. I know I want you there are I grow older. Even being near you calms my worries for the future. If I should die tomorrow, I know that as long as you think fondly of me, that's all that matters in the world. And where I can find the most joy, is you.

I know this is rather sudden. It sounds like a big proposal doesn't it? I... want that day to come. But I don't want to just spring that sort of thing on you. It wouldn't be fair. So please, for now, can we spend our evenings together, and move in?"

Gilda and Dash stared at each other as the couple shared a tender moment of lovingly gazing into each others eyes. _All that for just moving in? Grandma's Gizzards, what is he going to do when it comes time to really pop the question? Write a serenade and steal the Royal Crown to give to her?_

Still, they couldn't bear to end the happy moment, and instead Dash left to go buy some champagne to celebrate. Between this and Gilda's recovery meaning she'll soon be back in the clouds, Rainbow was going to splurge to get the absolute best for them all. Words smiled at Gilda, mentally thanking her for the inspiration.

_One girl out, another in, eh Wiz?_

…

I know some would have liked a full chapter for the classroom scene, maybe even tell the story. But, again, I really try to at least keep a balance between Words and Gilda. I realized writing this, it was all rather over-dramatic just for moving in. But seeing as Big Mac never got a proper proposal, and of course Words, like Rarity, has an affinity for the theatrical at times...

I love making up little characters like Short Order. I do use canon as much as possible, but sometimes, I want a jokey side character I don't have to look up to see what their cutie mark or something is.

Anyway, I babble. I hope you all enjoyed this update.

Kyle

P.S I'm still looking for an editor crazy or bored enough to do the "patching". Just fyi.


	14. Harvest Feast

Gilda slept peacefully, wrapped in gossamer clouds on the bed she had not used for many long weeks. At her side, the newest family member, Tank, hovered in his own sleep. The whirls of the blades made a relaxing white noise, and in her peace, Gilda dreamed once more.

She was flying high above the ground, Dash mere inches away from her as they soared. Loops, rolls, flips, they were tempting fate to be so close, yet they were simply too happy to be in the air together once more. Down below, Words, Cheerilee, and of course the other Bearers were all gathered at a picnic table. They applauded the feats of flight above them, raising the duo's spirits almost as high as their wings did their bodies.

Gilda and Dash looked at each other, then smiled. Grabbing each other, they began to fall to the ground. Their embrace was forcing them to plummet, and their friends gasped in horror. They corkscrewed downward at a sickening pace, yet they held each other tenderly. Then, at the last second, they kissed for the briefest of moments before they forced themselves apart, and took to the air once more. Wild cheering broke out among their friends, and the fliers gently soared down.

"Well, after all that, I'm starving. What do we got to eat guys?"

"Oh, the usual pony picnic fair. Smoke, fire, and heat."

It was then Gilda sat upright, head surrounded in smoke. Cloud homes did not catch fire, but burning food sure did. Gilda worked her way to the kitchen, where Dash was furiously flapping her wings to make smoke dissipate. Gilda decided to ask questions later and opened the windows a bit wider. That is, since it was a cloud home, she ripped a few bigger holes in the walls. With the extra exits and two living fans blowing, it wasn't long before the smoke was gone in all but memory.

"Alright, Dash, I have some questions. Why are you up so early? Why were you cooking? And last but not least, what were you cooking?"

The pair looked at a dish, full of what could charitably be called charcoal. Dash put it in the sink with a heavy sigh.

"It was my contribution to the Harvest Feast today. I was gonna leave it as a surprise to you, but yeah. With harvest about done, all the ponies are gathering up for a big feast, since for the rest of Winter we'll have to watch how much we eat to last us til Spring. I'm not one for stuffing my face, but it is a big thing for everypony, so I try to do my part."

Gilda looked at the still blackened dish.

"So you try to help by making fire safety videos?"

"I need to make something epic, and epic food is hard to make. I need it to reflect my own coolness, and showing up with some boring mash potatoes is not going to cut it."

"Considering what I've seen... I think even that might be too much for you."

Gilda got rat-tailed with a kitchen towel for that. Rubbing her rump, the griffin repressed a laugh as Dash chased her out of the kitchen. Dash snorted, as the griffin took off.

"Go bug Words! It's hard enough trying to cook without you distracting me! Ugh... scalloped potatoes was bunk, I guess I should start boiling what I have left..."

Gliding out over town, she saw a large chunk of the populace was milling around the town center, setting up different stands and rows upon rows of tables and chairs. Spiraling down, she landed next to Words and Big Mac who were trying to muscle a log along. Shouldering the middle, the three took it to where a big bonfire was to be. Mac steadied the bottom, while between magic and flight, Gilda and Words got the log upright. The three sat at the base, bumping hooves and claws in mutual congratulations.

Gilda went and grabbed them some water, which they accepted with a nod. The two stallions were looking quite worn down, but it didn't stop Words from his usual habits.

"Ah, thank you kindly Gilda. That would have been a lot less smooth without the help. The Post Master would have been helping us, but Boxy's been busy lately."

"Eeyup."

"He that big pegasus that's been delivering the mail? What happened to the little blond?"

"I can explain darlings."

The three looked at Rarity, who had quite a few decorations hovering around her, being put into place at the center of the tables. She set them down then walked back over, stepping around some of the bark that had fallen off the trunk.

"Ah, the bonfire is always so lovely, it's amazing it starts off as such a brutish pile of wood. Now, the explanation: Ditzy quit, or really asked for extended vacation, so she could be an actress for some old show revival. I was invited to come on for a guest spot, and I think I understand why she quit. The lead actor is, well seeing as I'm the only one here interested in stallions, take my word for it, he's quite the catch. Charming stallion, every sentence like music to the ear, and excellent taste in wardrobe. Handsome face as well. She's quite smitten"

Gilda resisted the urge to correct the sexuality assumption, seeing as it really wasn't any of Rarity's business on that. _And if anyone sounds smitten, it's you. Only time I see a pony look like that is when Dash talks about the Wonderbolts._

Words digested this all, nodding.

"Poor soul. I'm afraid I don't know her very well personally, but she's one of Cheerilee's friends. If she quit her job just to try and find someone, she must have been lonelier than it seemed. I think the next time they have a get-together I'll invite myself along, just to get the full story from her. Though it might be a bit rude, better to know to truth than risk spreading lies. Not that I call your side of it lies, Miss Rarity."

The unicorn cowered under the fashionista's glare. Big Macintosh moved the hay between his lips, thinking it over himself.

"Eeyup. Best know her side of things, it could be a lot nobler than courting."

"Speaking of courting, darling, I'll be needed you to come by the Boutique at your earliest convenience. Come to think of it, all three of you."

There was a unified "Why?" that left Rarity gawking at them.

"Why, to get you fitted the wedding apparel! Surely you weren't going to just go in... whatever was clean, were you Big Macintosh? Your sister Applejack stated much the same sentiment when I started talking to Fluttershy with her wedding gown..."

"Er, I was planning on my Pawpaw's vest and hat. That's what he wore."

Rarity sighed, shaking her head.

"Macintosh, while it is a lovely ensemble, it is not the level of dress appropriate for what is the happiest moment of a pony's life. We can use the design and material, but I insist we... ehm spruce it up a bit. As for you two, I've never even seen you wear cloths!"

Gilda shrugged, her feathers having always worked well for any weather, and she rarely attended anything fancy. Words opened his mouth to argue but another glare cowed him to silence.

"It's settled. Come together or separate, just swing by tomorrow. Now, I must get back to decorating, it's only a few hours until the feast begins."

That was the cue for the stallions to return to work as well. Gilda offered to help more, but they politely refused. She would have been upset, weren't they so nice about it. _Your wing just healed up, we'd hate for you to strain it again. Macintosh offered to let me pull a plow when the Wrap-up comes around, heh, didn't know he had a joking side. Well, I still haven't found something to do, let's find Cheerilee._

It didn't take long before the griffin found the school teacher, working in the kitchen tent, which also connected to the Corner's bakery. The Cakes, Pinkie Pie, Applejack and others were all bustling to cook the majority of the feast. Pots simmered with all sorts of soups, stews, gravies, syrups, teas, cider (hard or soft), and what felt like a hundred other culinary items. Coal ovens were shoved full of breads, casseroles, roasting vegetables, pies, cakes and cobblers.

Despite her preference for meat, the scents of garlic and onion made her mouth water. The heavy steam filled her chest nearly as well as she hoped the food would her stomach. Noticing everypony was busy, Gilda gave in to temptation and plucked a cherry off a cake, popping it in her mouth.

"Watch out! Run away plate!"

Gilda ducked just in time as a plate whizzed past at head level to smash against a pole. The Crusaders had been helping to do the dishes, emphasis on had as they were now being guided out by Applejack. Gilda shook her head, finally having a moment to chew the stolen morsel. A broom and dustpan were shoved under her nose by an annoyed Mrs. Cake.

"Well, what are you doing girl? Nopony just stands around in my kitchen during Feast preparations! Sweep that up... and no more sneaking treats. We can eat at the same time as everypony else."

Being caught red handed and faced in guilt, the griffin cleaned up the broken glass. Gilda was roped into a few other services, like helping get out heavy things from the oven, peeling and cutting, and the most dreaded of kitchen chores: dish duty.

Cheerilee grabbed her tail and dragged her outside nearly an hour after she had arrived. The two sat down on the other side of the tent to rest. She hadn't noticed, but the heat of all the cooking had made the tent a sweat box. The griffin wiped off her face as Cheerilee sipped a paper cup of water.

"Hey, the boys only had water too. And come to think of it, nobody has even mentioned lunch or breakfast. I had a cherry, but I had to steal that."

Cheerilee splashed the remaining water on her face before answering.

"Well, we fast for this day. It's symbolic of the ponies waiting for Fall to gather food, as doing it too early in the year isn't good for well anything. So we wait for the "Fall" of the sun, that is, sunset, to eat. That, and it is at Sunset both Celestia and Luna will be awake to join us. They're very special guests this year."

Gilda nodded, even if all the symbolism was a bit odd to her. Still, food was nearly done, so Mrs. Cake came out to tell them to go ahead and clean up before dinner. Refreshed with a quick facial scrub, they found Dash, the other Bearers and of course everyone associated with them chatting off to one side. Dash had a covered dish, as did many other ponies. Cheerilee explained away Gilda's confused annoyance.

"Besides the main feast, many offered up their own dishes to offer a wider range of tastes. So all the work we just did was not in vain. Stay calm. Let's get seated."

With all of Ponyville gathered at their seats, the mayor took position at the center of the massive table right in front of the bonfire.

"I speak on behalf of everypony gathered hear today when I give thanks to all the good fortune that has come our way! The crops harvested were some of the biggest, and tastiest, in years! All because of the dedicated work of the farmers who toiled to provide!"

Everyone clapped as ponies like Carrot Top, Applejack and family, and many others stood up.

"I would also like to thank everypony who helped set up everything, those who cooked, and those who volunteered for clean up. Let's give a big thank you to them now, before we're too full and sleepy to remember!"

Again, all the volunteers stood up, Big Mac, words, Gilda, Cheerilee etc. The mayor motioned for everyone to sit.

"Finally, I believe our biggest thank yous should go to our beloved Princesses, who's warm sun give the plants we eat now energy, and beautiful nights allow them to mature. Those first fall frosts are very important to the flavor of it all, but I need not tell you that. Now, everypony, the Princesses!"

In twin chariots, the Alicorns flew down, on one Celestia with her shining white guards. The other, Luna and her dark duo. They landed to great cheers, and as they walked, ponies bowed in respect. Celestia coughed, and all was silent. The entire town waited on baited breath to hear her first words of the evening.

"Could somepony pass the gravy?"

And, with that and a get clattering of forks, spoons and knives, everyone began to eat. Compliments to the cooks were spouted with every bite, and drink flowed like rivers. Many sang gaily of the wondrous meal, the kind ponies around them, and the grace of the Princesses. Poems, stories and jokes were all spoken freely, and the massive bonfire died down long before the conversation did. Even as the hours stretched into the early morning, everyone was still up and eating, drinking and performing.

Finally, with the last of the food being plated up, Words was shoved forward by his friends. Celestia smiled down at him.

"Ah, Mister O'Wisdom. How are you enjoying the game? Spike says you're learning quickly. And no, taxes need not be repayment."

The unicorn gulped and pulled out a scroll, nervously averting his eyes from Royalty.

"That's um.. actually what this is. I wanted to read you something... and for Luna as well. It's about you two, if that is alright."

Luna paused, a piece of pumpkin pie halfway to her lips.

"It's been a thousand years since I listened to such a thing. Big Sister, I think we should let him."

"You say that as if I was going to say no, Little Sister. Now, please, speak loudly, let's hear some... Words."

The stallion smiled nervously, as if there were two great wolves smiling at him instead of the lovely sisters.

"Heh, haven't heard that one before you Majesty...

With Summer gone and Winter here

I send my thanks and heart

Not only mine, but from all I know

Who appreciate your art

To Celestia, who rules the sun

and gives the light each day

To Luna, in who's night we sleep

And with our loved ones lay

The sun, the moon, the day, the night

Their beauty holds us in awe

Some love more than others,

Especially the Twilight..."

"HEY!"

The stallion jumped, turning to explain he didn't mean Twilight SPARKLE, when his tail knocked over a pitcher of fruit punch right onto Celestia herself. On reflex, he grabbed the tablecloth and tried to wipe it off, which caused half empty gravy boats and soup bowls to dump over. Luna's pie was tossed by the sudden grab, right into her face. Twilight was running in circles, trying to find some towels for them. At the table, commentary began.

"Trixie is amused by this, greatly. Spike, tell me you have a camera."

"Way ahead of you. I'd grabbed a new one that records video."

"Hey, Dash, you don't think Words will go crazy again from all this?"

"Naw, but I think it's just as well, that definitely was not one of his best poems. Looks like he's lost his chance to read for Royalty..."

"Sugarcube, Ah think he's gone and dun lost more than his chance..."

"Um, girls, I think he's fainted. We should help him... if that's OK."

The stallion had collapsed, and was in fact drowning in a pudding. Cheerilee managed to help him up and wipe his face off. The Princesses were just laughing it off, using the fresh towels Pinkie had finally brought for them. Luna looked dejectedly at the ruined slice of pie that now lay on the ground.

"Well, I think he's repaid us enough."

Celestia giggled, wringing the punch from her hair.

"I certainly would hate to have him indebted to us if this is how he regularly repays ponies. Let's just call it a fun slapstick routine and end it there. He meant well."

Entertainment over, everyone headed home to let the cleaning crew get into it. Gilda and Dash flew up to their cloud home, enjoying the night air for just a moment. Dash gave a contented sigh.

"Great day wasn't it? Good food, chat with friends, that ending show..."

"Yeah, but your mashed potatoes had too much salt. And what happened to epic food?"

"Shut up, you you... turkey."

…

Happy Thanksgiving! May good fortune smile upon you and your loved ones. Today, I'd like to say how much I appreciate living so comfortably in the house I do, with food in my belly and the spare time to be able to write these stories. I am thankful for everyone taking time out of their own busy schedules to read than and give feed back.

Not to go all Thanksgiving Special, but days like today make you realize how well off each and every single one of us is. We can afford to waste money on internet, and time reading stories about ponies. There are those without a crumb to eat or a penny to spend trying to fix that. I think I'll try and find the time to volunteer at the nearest shelter in the near future, though I shouldn't have waited for the holidays to express this urge.

May God, or the deity, spirit, alien lord, or mathematical equation that gives you hope to live each day, bless you, just as they already have.

Kyle

P.S. Now, seriously, where's the gravy?


	15. What A Ice Story

Nurse Redheart stared at the three patients in front of her. She could hardly believe the abuse they had somehow managed to survive. Heaving a sigh, she looked over the x-rays and test results. Against all logic, no broken bones, and they were clean. Which actually made her rather annoyed. It meant they didn't have proper punishment, and they don't have the excuse of "chemical impairment" to help explain why they got into this mess. There were sniffs and coughs as the trio huddled under blankets and sipped some cocoa.

"Rainbow Dash, Gilda Griffin and Word O'Wisdom. I demand to know what you were thinking that could have possibly justify all this. Hypothermia, I understand. It's cold outside. Same for the frost bite. Bumps and bruises, explainable as well."

"We were playing hockey-"

The nurse glared Dash into silence.

"But what confounds me, is how you three managed to crack the entire pond in the middle of a bucking hockey match!"

"Well, we were getting ready to end the match so technically..."

"SEMANTICS! Point is, it was suppose to be a game, and now half of Ponyville is going to be stocking up on tissues, tea and hot water bottles. Be glad the Mayor is among them, or she might be here too. Now, explain!"

The winged pair formed a huddle with the resident storyteller. He looked between them, both of them staring expectantly.

"What? Wait, why me? I'm just a bystander in all this!"

"Dude, you were the goaltender, that's hardly a bystander. And besides..."

"Yeah Wiz, you know me and Gilda won't tell it good enough to save us another lecture. You got us into this."

"I can't possibly be held accountable for what happened!"

Nurse Redheart tapped her hoof on the desktop impatiently. Cheerilee poked her head into the doorway, and was signaled to come in. The teacher shook her head in mock disappointment at the trio.

"I still can't believe it. They're almost as much of a handful as the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I might have been able to rein them in had I not been swapped with end of year test grading."

The teacher sniffled a giggle at the indignant looks on their faces. Redheart, however, was in a far less jovial mood.

"Cheerilee, please, I'm still trying to know what exactly happened, and Words was just about to explain, since he was volunteered to be the diplomat..."

With eight ears waiting on his account of the incident, he was forced to concede. The unicorn grumbled to himself, blowing his nose. Snorting, he stared at the ceiling in search of guidance. Finding none, he could only begin talking.

"Well, we were... ACHOO-"

…

Hours ago, when the sun was still just beginning to peek over the horizon, Words and Gilda were in the middle of their morning jog. Great puffs of steam escaped the unicorn's mouth like a smokestack, leaving a rising trail of white in his wake. Gilda walked alongside him, stuck in the awkward waiting while he tried to regain his breath.

"Come on Wiz, suck it up. We were making great time, you made it almost a whole mile before you slowed down. What gives?"

There was a great hacking cough, followed by a sneeze so loud some of the snow above them broke away and coated the duo. Words sniffled, wiping his snout with the scarf wrapped around his neck.

"Sorry. But the cold air is killing me. My throat's dry from panting, I got a nose that could run a 4 40, and I'm not even going to comment on how the rest of me is feeling... and I just used the gift from Miss Rarity as a hanky didn't I?"

Gilda groaned in annoyance as she dusted him off, patting his back wearily.

"Yes, you did, dork. It'll wash out, but I still wouldn't tell her about it. Dash has told me a few things: Never threaten Angel Bunny, Don't eat Pinkie's SurPies, and Never mistreat cloths around Rarity. Alright, no point in continuing if you get sick from this. Come on, let's get you home before you spit up a lung."

"Aww, you're such a sweetheart."

Words smiled at the griffin, who turned away mumbling in blushing shame. Because of this, she didn't notice him moving in for the hug. She ducked out of the way, then flew just out of reach.

"No! No snotty hugs. Just... ew!"

"Didn't think you were the germophobe type. Big sweetheart Gilda afraid of a little mucus."

Words chuckled, a bad choice as this sent him into a deeper fit of coughing. He went quiet, and began walking towards his house. Gilda flitted behind as he more or less stumbled home, once slipping on the ice and sliding down the street. He looked up to her, the sheepish grin quite appropriate as the snow clumped on his sweaty hide. The pair laughed, but only lightly.

Once they arrived at his house, Words leaned against the wall for a moment. Looking at his feathery friend, he nodded towards the door.

"Hey, come inside. I'll get you something hot to drink. You're a lot tougher than I am, weathering this cold without anything on, but it would comfort me to know you've got something in you."

Gilda looked up to the sky. She knew she would have to be up, shoving the clouds around to make sure the snow spread evenly later. But on the other hand, Dash was the only lazy worker around...

"Alright, one cup. And um... you still have any of those chocolate chip cookies Cheerliee made? You know, her little not-so-secret stash?"

"Snow white? Sky blue? Tell me what you think."

Gilda looked up at the grey clouds and the brown slush forming in the streets.

"If you ate them all already, you could have just said-"

"Figure of speech! Come inside already, I'm freezing still and I'ma... I'ma..."

The sneeze that followed felt like it registered on the Richter scale. Gilda's feather stood out on end, until she shook the shock away. Words groaned pitifully and stepped indoors, shaking the snow off in the entry way. Just as Gilda was about to enter, Dash flew down, though crash landing might be more accurate. Words looked over his shoulder at the pile of feathers wrestling in front of the door.

"Hey! If you keep that up, at least make sure the audience paid first. Dash, we were gonna have some hot chocolate, you want a mug too?"

The pegasus looked up, the lion tail between her teeth. Spitting it out, she shrugged and they all headed into the kitchen. Words set a kettle of milk on the stove top to heat while he grabbed the cookie jar off a high shelf with his magic.

"I'm amazed she gets it up there without magic or flight. Here ya go Gilda, and a second for when the drink is ready. Dash, you care for sweet or would you rather have something else? My cupboards are open to you."

"Know what? I think I will. Hand me that loaf of bread, I haven't had breakfast yet anyway."

Dash whistled as she helped herself. Soon she had a sizable sandwich of peanut butter and honey.

"Let's eat fast guys. I want to hit the ice before we have to clear the clouds away."

Gilda picked a few crumbs of cookie off her chest, nodding in thanks as Words brought over the drinks.

"What are you thinking Dash? You don't want to glide around on the ice like some dainty figure skater do you?"

"Wait? Hay no! I convinced Slap Shot to let us borrow some hockey stuff. You know everypony is gonna be down there, and I want to get some action in before we get to work. This is the FIRST solid freeze of Winter this year. After this, we'll have to work to keep the snow from piling on too high and everypony getting snowed in."

"Sounds awesome, count me in. You know I rule the ice just as hard as I do the sky. Remember when I beat you by 15 points one time? Such an airhead then."

"No way Birdbrain, I've been practicing since the last time we played against each other."

"Oh yeah Cloudbutt? You think any amount of practice is gonna help you beat the Queen of Cool, born in a blizzard and eats pucks for breakfast?"

"OK, Dustbreath. If I win, you do the chores around the house. Dishes, dusting, and whatever else I can think of. You win, I'll do it instead."

" Tell you what, let's add to it. We do the chores in a maid outfit. We're on E now right?"

Words sipped at his drink as the back and forth continued on. Finally, when they finally couldn't think of an insult for X he gave a polite cough.

"Well, I'm gonna stay here."

"What? No, come on dude. We do stuff you like to do all the time. Join in on something we like to do. You owe it to Dash and me."

Words bowed his head, giving a guilty mumble.

"But, you know I'm not... athletic. I was a mess just from the jog."

"Which is why we're putting you in front of the goal. You know, as goaltender. Won't move around a bunch, but you'll take a few hard knocks. Still, the important thing is you're out there."

And so, they grabbed the equipment and hoofed it over to pond. Dash and Gilda went around recruiting a full team as words put the nets together. Never having played before, he didn't realize there was a bottom piece to the goals, and so he jabbed the poles into the ice and staked the net. The ice cracked slightly, but he put it out of mind. Everypony was soon dressed up in their pads, hockey sticks held in their teeth. Spike had somehow ended up in the black and white striped vest and had a whistle dangling from his neck.

Soon the game was started, Words goal-tending for Gilda's side and the teams went at it. There were a few scuffles, but Spike acting as referee really helped to keep them from turning into full brawls. Try as he might, Words as good a goaltender as he was a gymnast. Every shot flew past him, and the only reason it was even a close match was Gilda's sheer superiority in skill. A time out was called, and the teams gathered around the goals. Gilda addressed the team.

"OK, we're tied, and it's almost time to get to work. We've agreed the next goal wins. And I am not wearing that outfit! So let's win!"

There was just general confusion, but Spike signaling time was up prevented any discussion. The match was heated then, Gilda and Dash fighting for the puck. Then, the pegasus broke away with a feint and was barreling down towards the goal. As she reared back to shoot, Gilda yelled out.

"Words! Stop it!"

The unicorn turned, to see the black disc in mid-flight. His face controted in the dread of knowing what was going to happen, and having no control over what happens shot ricocheted off his horn, back towards the griffin. From there, it was trivial to score the winning goal. Gilda skated over to Words slapping him hard on the back as he struggled to his feet.

"Dude, that is what I call using your head."

"Yeah well I..I'ma..."

The sneeze echoed over the pond, and brought forth a silence. Then, in the still, there was a faint snap, then crackling and ended with a barely perceptible pop. All eyes went to the ice, scored with the trails of ice skates, cracks radiating outward from the goals along the furrows the ponies themselves had cut in their play. Words opened his mouth to beg forgiveness.

And then, the splash.

…

Cheerilee stifled a giggle as she sat on the couch at home, sipping a shared mug of cocoa. She and Words cuddled together under a blanket, a heater glowing in front of them. The stallion sniffed, blushing deeply.

"Bad enough I have this cold now..."

"Sweetie, I feel sorry for you, but that is still one of the funniest things I've ever seen. How do you think Dash is handling having to wear the outfit?"

"I think I heard them talking about a double or nothing challenge. And that this time, it would be a Prench maid outfit. Stockings and all."

Cheerilee thought on it for a moment and burst out laughing at the image of either in such a dress. Words snorted, then finally joined in, until another fit of coughs shook him. Cheerilee nuzzled him, shaking her head.

"Alright, that's enough for tonight. Let's get some sleep. Hopefully you'll feel better in the morning. That way you can start doing the chores yourself as punishment for sharing my special cookies without asking."

Words grinned wearily ad nodded.

"Alright, at least I don't have to wear an outfit."

"Don't jump to conclusions just yet."

…

Ok, sorry for this being one of those dreaded and confusing "flashback in the middle" stories, but I liked the beginning image of them having to explain themselves. So forgive this one being a lot more slapstick/juvenile but I simply was not in the mood for serious, which is where all my other stories are about to take the turn for.

Writing been slowly lately too, just not quite getting the same spark. Hopefully, tomorrow's episode will give some inspiration.

Kyle


	16. Hearth Warming and Santa Clops

T'was the night before Hearth's Warming, and all though the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Right now, all the creatures, Pegasus, Earth Pony, Unicorn and Griffin, were sitting peacefully before the fireplace. Though the snow coated everything in cold and ice, inside the crackling fire cast the room in a cheerful glow. Dozens of sweet scented candles added to the light, and all was well. As they sat before the fire, each pair embraced their partners, gazing into the merry flames. They didn't move a muscle, letting the moment live as long as they dared.

The End.

Still reading? Not content with knowing they were having a pleasant evening, you want to pry into their private lives further? And during the holidays? All for your own entertainment? Very well, if you so insist, but understand, I am very disappointed in you for this selfish act. As with all stories, we start at the beginning.

The Bearers had come back from their performance to find their friends and loved ones gathered together, awaiting their return. Twilight had the chance to introduce her parents to Trixie, Devastating Gusts kissed Applejack's hoof, much to the embarrassment of his daughter Fluttershy who was in turn being inspected by the farming pony's own parents. Rarity and her parents had already split away to do their own traditions. Even Sue and Clyde Pie had come off the rock farm to greet their pink progeny, Inkie and Blinkie in tow. But these are stories for later. For this tale, we focus on the only pony who's greeting party had a griffin: Rainbow Dash.

While her greeting party was unique in that it held a griffin, it was also unique in that said griffin was the only member. Gilda was standing off to the side, watching the various groups of parents interact with their children, when Dash walked up to her. The multicolored pegasus followed her gaze, then nudged the griffin.

"Missing the nest?"

The griffin grunted, her expression completely passive to avoid showing any emotion towards the comment. A gust blew through, snow swirling around the ponies. Hasty goodbyes were said through chattering teeth as all headed home. Gilda twitched her wings, knocking the snow from them as she and Dash walked along the empty streets. They would have flown, but they knew from work it was going to get pretty windy once more so they stayed grounded out of safety. And at any rate, neither felt like dealing with wind chill just yet.

_Ponyville, what a dorky little town... there are lights everywhere. For once, it is the bright gaudy colors making my eyes water..._ Gilda paused a moment to rub her eyes. Dash tapped her hoof impatiently.

"How is it you can stare at me all day, but these dull lights bother you?"

"Who said I liked to look at you all day? Sometimes you gotta stare into blank space so I try to see between your ears."

They bumped each other playfully, as another gust ruffled their feathers. Dash pressed close the griffin, who put a protective wing over her.

"Heh, Dash you're a light weight when it comes to cold tolerance."

"Shut up! Not all of us grew up in the bucking mountains."

As they continued their trek in the winter wonderland, the wind began to die down, allowing a more solid blanket of snow to begin coating the town. Gilda was beginning to feel a bit jealous of her hoofed partner. _My claws and paws are going numb. At this rate I'll cut them on some hidden shard of rock or glass and not even feel it._ Still, pride kept her silent.

"Hey! Guys! The hay are you doing outside in this cold?"

They both turned to the familiar voice, and immediately turned away to hide their laughter. It was Words, though the only reason you could tell was from the voice and that was his address. The unicorn was bundled up in a big red coat trimmed in white, an equally festive hat covering his horn. His entire face was obscured by a large false beard, long and snowy white. He stepped out into the street to meet them.

"What are you doing out with nothing on? Catch a death of cold like that."

Gilda managed to make eye contact, which was more than Dash could say.

"Words, what's with the get up? Delivering toys to good little girls and boys?"

"Yes, actually."

The giggles stopped, replaced with a confused silence. Words shook his head in mock disappointment.

"Come now, surely you have done something kind this year? This is mine. Come on, I was just leaving to the town hall. We need some helpers for Santa Clops. You'll look great in green."

They both wanted so badly to go home. But it's surprising how well a grown stallion can pull off the Crusader pout after being on the receiving end countless times.

And this is how Dash and Gilda ended up wearing lime green vests and hats, with little pointy toed boots with bells on the end. In the town hall, there were dozens of colts and fillies bouncing up and down, waiting for their turn with the portly present provider. The conversations all flowed like this:

"Now, What Is Your Name, Little One?"

"...Cheery Cherry..."

"And Have You Been Nice This Year?"

"...'s..."

"HoHoHo! Well Done! Now, Goodness is it's own reward, but let's see if I have something in my bag for such a well behaved little filly."

And then words would make a show of digging through the bag, and pull out a little gift wrapped and pre-made just for the specific foal. Then the child would run off, dolly or whatever else they had earned in their teeth as the next walked up.

Gilda did her best to stay calm, but kids were far and away her least favorite people. When the last toy was given away, all the little ones were gathered together so Words could tell them a story. This let Dash and Gilda slip away to get out of costume. Once safely where nopony could hear them, Gilda forced a gag.

"Ugh! I'm no humbug but seriously. This is too sugary for even Pinkie Pie. They've gotta tell those kids the whole magic fairy that brings gifts thing is a load of guano their parents do."

Rainbow Dash stopped taking off the vest halfway.

"You didn't notice?"

"Notice what?"

"Think about how many kids are in there. Now, besides us, how many adults did you see? Five, maybe ten? They weren't the parents."

Gilda's face contorted in guilt. _I... didn't think about it. I mean... pony orphans? In this place, at this time? That's like... kicking a puppy. _

Out of costume, the pair slunk back into the room where the story was finally beginning.

"Years and years ago, back when Celestia herself was no bigger than you, I, Santa Clops, was a young stallion in a dreary world. The Unicorns, the Pegasi, and the Earth pony clans were divided, and leaderless as Princess Platinum, Commander Hurricane and Chancellor Puddinhead had gone on their way to find the land we know call Equestria and home.

All around, ponies glared at each other in hate and distrust. The adults were already snaping at each other, some fights breaking out in the high tension. But what hit hardest were the children just like yourselves, crying from empty bellies and cold. I looked around at all the sad, hungry faces. My heart filled with a sorrow greater than the emptiness in my own stomach.

'Something must be done!' I thought to myself.

Now, everypony knows my cutie mark is a hammer, because I always loved fixing things, and in those days I worked as a carpenter. I looked at my tools, my piles of lumber, my paint and my other materials for making furniture.

'I can't feed anypony, but I can certainly give them hope and joy!' I sat down, and began to work, and work, and work until my hooves had blisters. It was hard work, as I had never done it so fast for so long, but soon I had made enough toys for all the little colts and fillies in the village.

Now, to make sure everypony accepted the gifts, I made sure to hide my true appearance. The hat, so none may see if I have a horn or not. The coat to hide possible wings, and the beard, made from cotton used to stuff the cushions, to hide my face. In this disguise, I was allowed to visit the different clans, and distribute my gifts. It did not end the winter, no that was the OTHER Hearth's warming story, but it helped. It let the children hang on, and come to live in our wonderful Equestria."

The story on a while longer, explaining things like why he's still alive (granted immortality by the Princesses to continue his acts of kindness), how he delivered all the toys (The Original Wonderbolts pulled his sleigh, and they're the fastest in all the land) or even why he looked so different (a second blessing from the Princesses, allowing him to hide his true form and keep any one clan from claiming rights to him. This also explains the beard even now). When Words wrapped up the story, everyone joined in for one last sing-song of Circle of Friends and the children were led away home.

Gilda and Dash waited for their friend, and they too headed on their way home. Cheerilee was waiting on the doorstep for them, and she nuzzled the stallion.

"How did the gift giving go?"

"Wonderfully, well behaved as always, or so they said. I know for a fact that little scamp Pipsqueak put a frog in the eggnog. How he found one in the middle of the season I'll never know."

"Wait, little Pip's an orphan?"

Gilda found herself on the receiving end of three stares, two shocked and one of restrained laughter. Cheerilee gave a nervous giggle and explained.

"Orphans? Those weren't orphans, they were classes from Canterlot and Ponyville. It was the annual Gift Exchange. Children pull lots, buy a gift for a classmate and it's sorted out later as a big, you know, spirit of giving act."

"Bwahaha!"

Dash fell over in laughter at the look of rage that overtook Gilda's features.

"You little snot! You made me think those kids were parent-less. I demand my dignity back!"

Words sighed and looked at Cheerilee. The pair went inside, leaving the door unlocked as the sounds of a snowball fight started up. Cocoa was already steaming on the stove top. The teacher tossed a towel to the snow coated stallion.

"Is it just me, or has Gilda been acting more... well, like Dash lately? She's been more confident, more aggressive but not violent, and in general bold."

Words chuckled as he poured himself a mug of hot chocolate.

"To quote Big Macintosh: Eeyup. Personally, I like it. Gilda and Dash have very similar personalities after-all, and meek Gilda was a bit disheartening."

"Well, go get the Gildash Duo then. I think the projectiles are over with."

Words finished his mug slowly, and made his way to the front door. He almost opened it, then a thought struck him.

"They're waiting for me. Instant I open this door, I'll get plastered..."

The door cracked open, and he quickly stuck his head out. No missed throws. He opened the door and took a longer look. Oddly, there was no one there. Words stepped outside, looking up and down the street.

"Oh... I guess they went home already..."

And then the world went white, as he was buried under an avalanche. As he struggled out from under the blanket of snow, the sound of laughter and a high five made him look up.

"There are the birdbrains! Well, see if you two get any marshmallow in your cocoa now."

"Why would we want Rarity in our drinks?"

"Do you want it or not?"

"Coming Father... Winter."

And so, the group went inside to warm themselves before the fire place. Cheerilee had turned off the lights and instead brought out dozens of scented candles. Blankets were brought from the closet and they huddled together on the couch. The wind howled outside, seeking to snuff out the warm happiness indoors, but the bonds of friendship, or possibly just good insulation, kept the home toasty.

The fire was slowly dying when Words stirred from the light slumber. He looked around, the flicker of the candle lights, the three sleeping forms around him, and he was struck. Quill and paper hovered before him. He tapped the tip to his horn, wetting it in a magic ink that flowed from red to green and back again as he wrote.

"Friends, Family, Utter Strangers who I hope soon to be Friends, I have many things I could say. I could say I am glad to have survived another year to this glorious holiday. I could say what joy it brings me to be surrounded by those closest to my heart. I could say that, despite all the horrific things in the world, this season lets, neigh, begs us to put those thoughts aside and hope for the brighter tomorrow. That and more, I could say. But I feel only one thing NEEDS to be said.

Happy Holidays, and may your New Year be bright."

Cheerilee mumbled, looking up as he folded the paper.

"Words..."

"Yes, o' Cheery one?"

"Happy Hearth's Warming. I love you, but be quiet."

"I love you too."

…

I wanted to do a bunch of holiday things, but I think this will have to do til after New Years, which brings me to a sad, yet necessary act.

I need a proper editor now. Why? I plan to so mass edits to all my stories. This will include, in some cases, merely grammar improvement and reposting. Others will have chapters combined to improve flow. Still others will in fact be split and renamed, for example Gilda and Lies here, into different stories as the majority of chapters went so differently from the original purpose. And some might face outright deletion.

This will also, hopefully, make these stories EQD worthy. I know I've said before I didn't really care, but it would be nice to, since people seem to enjoy it, have a bit more notability so more people will read my works. And EQD is the easiest path to that.

But, at any rate, I hope you sincerely enjoyed this chapter, and as for my holiday sign off? See Words' little speech there.

Merry Christmas though

Kyle


End file.
